


Home For Christmas

by Slow_Burn_Sally



Category: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell & Related Fandoms, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV), Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell - Susanna Clarke
Genre: AU Where Christmas Day Actually Means Something To Georgian Folks, AU Where Gay Marriage Is Fine, Anachronistic Tropes, And Any Deviations From Canon, Fake Marriage, Just Ignore All The Anachronisms, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining, Pretend It's A Hallmark Movie Starring The Johns, tropes galore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27807511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slow_Burn_Sally/pseuds/Slow_Burn_Sally
Summary: John Segundus needs to get married quick in order to convince Mrs. Lennox to sell Starecross Hall to him. He ends up asking Childermass to be his fake husband. And of course they're super soft for each other and pretending not to be.I can't stress enough how this is not based on any research into early 19th century Christmas (or 12th Night) celebrations in ANY WAY.  I just want to write about soft boys kissing under mistletoe! JUST LET ME HAVE THIS
Relationships: John Childermass/John Segundus
Comments: 57
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

“And so you see my dear Mr. Segundus, I cannot in good conscience sell Starecross Hall to you while you are an unmarried man of small means.” The expression upon Mrs. Lennox’s face was a little sad but determined.

Segundus nodded. “I understand madam. You could not sell to a man such as myself, for if anything were to happen to me, illness, poverty, an untimely death, there would be no one to help me keep Starecross Hall or the school afloat, and it would end up in the hands of some stranger. I see now why you have decided thusly.”

“I am glad you understand Mr. Segundus. You know that I am quite fond of you, and there is no one I would rather sell it to. Is there no fine gentleman with a solid income that you have set your heart upon?” she asked. 

Segundus turned hot and flushed in the face. He did not want to lie to Mrs. Lennox, and doing so made him feel horrible, but the thought of some stranger running Starecross Hall made him desperate. He also did not want Mrs. Lennox to think him with no prospects at all. “Well, there could be someone...” he said, keeping his statement purposefully vague. 

“Oh how lovely! Haven’t gotten around to asking for his hand have you?” Mrs. Lennox said. “But don’t worry my dear. There is no rush. Should you and your gentleman friend decide to make your connection official in the next few months, that would be enough time for me to sell Starecross Hall to you. I will not be moving to my sister’s in Brighton until the spring, and Christmas is only a fortnight away.”

Segundus thanked her and took his leave.

And so this is why Mr. Segundus needed to get married. Mrs. Lennox, his benefactor and owner of Starecross Hall, the location of Mr. Segundus’ school for magicians, was growing older, and wanted to retire to her sister’s house near Brighton to live out the rest of her days. She wanted very much to sell Starecross Hall to Mr. Segundus, but she could not do so if he remained a bachelor. It would not be prudent to sell to a man with no roots, no family, and no husband. 

Segundus had tried to reassure Mrs. Lennox that Mr. Honeyfoot and his wife would surely take over the place, but when he brought this idea to Mr. Honeyfoot, his friend had regretfully shaken his head. “I am too old to take on the running of a school by myself, or even with the help of Mrs. Honeyfoot. I am happy to help with the teaching and the planning, but I cannot in good conscience promise to purchase nor care for Starecross Hall should anything happen to you sir.” And then, there was the fact that Mr. Honeyfoot was much older than Mr. Segundus, and likely to pass on of natural causes before Mr. Segundus anyway. Though tactfully, neither of them brought this up. 

Mr. Levi and Mr. Hadley-Bright and Mr. Purfois had no interest in running the school either. They helped to teach some classes now and then, and stopped in for visits to check on the school’s progress, but they had other lives, and interests of their own. And they were never as passionate as Segundus about the school as a whole. 

Though all three of them were bachelors as well, and though Segundus had briefly entertained (in a fit of desperation), asking one of them if they might marry him for convenience sake, he soon dismissed the idea immediately. They were proper gentlemen, and all three had been seen courting ladies and trying to find wives of their own. Marrying a threadbare bachelor of nearly fifty would not be a pleasing prospect for any of them.

So now Mr. Segundus was in quite a pickle. He needed to find himself a husband quickly. This task was made all the more difficult for the fact that he had never truly intended upon getting married. It was less that he was opposed to the idea of matrimony, and more that he was frightfully shy in the arena of romantic love. So shy in fact that he had yet to experience any sort of intimacy with another person, beyond embracing Mr. and Mrs. Honeyfoot at Christmas dinners and at weddings.

Also, now that he desperately needed a husband, he realized that there were precious few eligible men whom he could ask to assist him. There was Davey and Lucas and Charles, but they were far younger than Segundus, and were servants of a common sort, and were not likely to say yes anyway. 

There was also Vinculus, but he was dirt poor, and the very thought of marrying Vinculus, even for a matter of convenience, made Segundus feel a little bit ill. And so he abandoned that idea immediately. 

This only left Mr. Childermass. In some regards, Childermass had much to recommend him to the role of potential husband. He loved magic and loved Starecross Hall just as much as Segundus did. And he seemed a conscientious and steadfast sort of person. He was intelligent, he was kind (in his own gruff way), he was a talented practical magician, and he was unattached romantically. Or at least Segundus assumed that he was. He had never seen nor heard of Childermass having a sweetheart. Many people had assumed that Childermass had been pining away for his master, Mr. Norrell, and that had been why he’d never married. But those people had never met Mr. Norrell. A man so unpleasant and so unromantic that Segundus could not imagine anyone pining for him at all. 

There were a few obstacles to marrying Childermass of course. Though Segundus suspected that Childermass preferred the romantic company of other men, he had never confirmed this fact. Also, Childermass was a servant. But, he was a far more well educated and important servant than young Davey, Lucas and Charles. He also had more money than Segundus, saved from decades of working for Mr. Norrell. He had mentioned this fact himself one night after a few too many glasses of port, and so it would be less unusual for Segundus to ask for his hand in marriage, as he could provide a hefty dowry if need be. And money always did have a way of smoothing out the wrinkles of social improprieties did it not?

The final problem was that Childermass was rather intimidating. Yes, they had a pleasant working relationship, but Segundus did not know Mr. Childermass all that well. When Childermass had shown up at the doors of Starecross Hall, soon after the disappearance of Strange and Norrell, Segundus had honestly been a bit terrified of him. It had taken some weeks of regular visits by Childermass and Vinculus for Segundus to grow used to Childermass being a fixture at the school. 

For many years, Segundus had seen Childermass as a man of mystery. A harbinger of bad news. A dark man with dark motives. But as the months went by, and Segundus grew to know Childermass better, he grew to like him more, and was allowed a glimpse inside Chidermass’ gruff exterior. They had even shared a few tentative conversations in the Library after dinner. 

A few conversations about the nature of magic was hardly enough of a basis for a marriage proposal. Still, Segundus was desperate. He could not lose Starecross Hall to a stranger. He could not risk the school being closed down. And furthermore, he understood Mrs. Lennox’ fears. If she sold to a new person, with roots and money and stability, she could make certain that they had the school’s (and Starecross Hall’s) best interests at heart. She would much prefer to sell to Segundus, who had just enough money to purchase the building from her, and was prepared to do so, even if it meant he ate nothing but potatoes for five years straight. But she could not sell it to a middle aged bachelor of low means. It was too uncertain a situation to place her beloved Hall into the hands of one person. 

He knew Mrs. Lennox loved him like an aunt, and that she wanted him above all people to own the place at last. She was only being prudent in insisting that she sell it to a gentleman of reliable income, with a husband to help support him. 

And furthermore, Segundus knew that Mrs. Lennox wanted him to be happy. She had been hinting that he should marry for far longer than she’d been talking about selling Starecross Hall. And Segundus had always blushed and ducked his head a little at these hints. He was a confirmed bachelor. A small, graying slip of a man, with no real financial fortune and no great looks to recommend him. Why would anyone wish to marry him?

Now that Segundus had decided upon Childermass as a potential husband, the unpleasant task of bringing this subject, and the resultant marriage proposal up to Childermass himself still remained. 

Childermass made Segundus feel shivery in his belly. The man’s deep, rumbling voice and piercing dark eyes, and his way of disappearing into shadows when one wasn’t looking, always unsettled Segundus, but also caused a strange spark of expectation to crackle through him. 

The thought of being married to such a man was… Segundus would be lying if he said it was not an appealing prospect. Childermass, for all that he was mysterious and intimidating was also quite handsome. At least Segundus thought so. And he did love magic like Segundus, and he did have rather nice hands, and his hair was rather fetching, even if it did look a bit like it had picked a fight with a thorn bush and lost.

But really, Childermass’ looks were not a factor in this decision, and Segundus reminded himself of this quite sternly when he caught himself thinking a little too long on the pleasantness of Childermass’ features. It is not as if they would be strolling down shady lanes holding hands. Or, and this thought made the nervousness in Segundus’ belly increase twofold...sharing a bed at night. They would be married in name only. Childermass would be free to wander the countryside with Vinculus, and could stay at Starecross Hall whenever he wished. And Segundus would be able to keep his beloved school and the beloved building in which it was housed. 

And no one need be any wiser. He could not tell anyone that it was a marriage of convenience, for if he did, word might get back to Mrs. Lennox, who might think the union not stable enough to base the selling of her precious Starecross Hall to Segundus. Divorces were quite rare, but they did happen upon the case of irreconcilable differences, or marital abuses, and she would likely fear that Childermass and Segundus would part sooner than later and rethink her purchase. And though this would do nothing more than make Mrs. Lennox unhappy, Segundus still hated the thought of it. 

Now, all that was left was the proposal. And how did a man like Segundus propose marriage to a man like Childermass? It was a confounding conundrum indeed. 

Segundus decided to approach Childermass in the library after supper, which was the way in which all of their conversations started. He stepped into the library and saw Childermass sitting with his feet up on the table, a book propped open in his hands, reading. 

Segundus cleared his throat. Childermass looked up at him.

“Hello Mr. Childermass and good evening,” Segundus said.

“Good evening to you sir,” Childermass replied. 

“I had something I wished to discuss with you sir,” Segundus said. No need to beat around the bush was there? “A matter of some importance, if you have the time.”

“I do indeed,” said Childermass, taking his feet down from the table, closing the book he’d been reading and placing it to the side. He sat, looking expectantly at Segundus, who had at this time gone quite hot under his neckcloth. 

“I...well...I.. have been informed by Mrs. Lennox that she wishes to sell Starecross Hall and move to Brighton to live with her sister,” he said. 

“Is that so?” remarked Childermass.

“Yes sir, and what's more, I wish to purchase Starecross Hall myself,” Segundus continued. “I have just enough money to do so, though I am afraid it will leave me quite penniless.”

“Ah,” said Childermass, watching Segundus with his dark eyes, his expression unreadable. 

Segundus swallowed thickly and continued. “Unfortunately, while I do have the money to buy Starecross. And while Mrs. Lennox is fond of me and greatly wishes me to own it, I am...that is I have not… that is...I remain… unmarried.” The heat he felt under his collar had spread to his neck and was now advancing across his cheeks like an invading army, bearing flaming torches in their fists. 

Childermass had no reply to this last statement, and so Segundus forged ahead. “And so, she will only sell to me if I secure myself a husband, and probably one of some considerable means, as a way to ensure that Starecross Hall continues and is well cared for in her absence.”

“I see,” said Childermass, though his brow was wrinkled just a little bit in what looked like confusion. 

“And so, I am lacking a husband, and I need to find myself one, and...well, there are not many men of relatively good fortune who are also bachelors in want of a spouse.” he said, his voice starting to waver a little with his intense nervousness. “And of course, any man I marry would be free to continue living just as he had before the wedding, and would not be expected to engage in any sort of erm...husbandly duties,” his cheeks were truly flaming now. He was surprised that they were not glowing faintly from how embarrassed he’d become during this little speech. 

“Mr. Segundus,” Childermass interrupted him gently, a small smile creeping across his face. “Are you attempting to ask for my hand in marriage?”

Mr. Segundus took in a great deep breath and let it out in a rush of relief. “Yes! Yes indeed. That is exactly what I am doing,” he said, smiling nervously and twisting his suddenly damp hands together. “It would be an arrangement of convenience you see, so that I could keep Starecross Hall and the school. You would not need to do anything other than what you are currently doing. Riding around the countryside with Vinculus, helping with classes at the school, going wherever you wish and doing whatever you like. You need not even share a room with me. It is only that I have heard of you having any particular romantic connections. Nor did you seem to wish for any, and neither have I... had any connections that is. And it might do both of us some good to own the school, as we are both magicians of a sort and-”

“Certainly I will marry you,” Childermass cut off Segundus’ flow of nervous chatter with his soft words, and Segundus stared at him, agape. 

“I’m sorry what did you say?” He needed Childermass to repeat himself. 

“I said that I would marry you,” Childermass wore a serious, if amicable expression. 

“Oh,” Segundus had expected some sort of argument, or worse, an outright rejection and was caught off guard. 

“And furthermore, I shall pay for half of the school, so that we may own it together,” Childermass added, and Segundus was then truly dumbstruck for a moment. 

“You...you would do that?” he asked, once he had gathered his wits enough to reply. “You would help me purchase Starecross Hall?” Oh what a lovely development! If Childermass paid for half of the purchase of the Hall, Segundus need not spend the rest of his days penniless and relying upon the kindness and charity of his friends. 

“Of course I would. You must know by now Mr. Segundus that I am very fond of Starecross Hall, and in addition to this, I see it as the new centre of magical study in England. It is a wonderful investment opportunity indeed.”

“Oh how delightful! That would be most welcome!” Then Segundus realized something that made him frown a little. “I am sorry Mr. Childermass that I have so little money and no real assets to speak of. I have always struggled to get by financially. But I am proud to say that I have paid off any and all debts of mine years ago and will bring no such money troubles to our union.”

“That is fine,” Childermass replied. “I am myself nothing more than a servant, and was raised in poverty. Such a thing would never bother me.”

Segundus could now most likely assume that Childermass was not attached romantically to anyone, but he felt it polite and prudent to clarify a further point. 

“I hope you do not think this subject too forward sir, but, I would be loath to separate you from any sort of current romantic connection you might have been pursuing...that is..while I assumed you were an unattached bachelor such as myself, you would still be free to...to...pursue any such interests that catch your eye, during our engagement, and even after our marriage. I only ask that such dalliances be undertaken away from the public eye and away from Starecross Hall. Am I making myself clear?”

“Quite clear,” Childermass replied with a knowing nod of his head. “And you sir, you can feel free to do the same, should the opportunity present itself.” 

Segundus nodded, even though no opportunity had presented itself thus far. He had never found the courage to approach anyone for such things before, and doubted he would become braver after he was married. 

Based on the swiftness which Childermass had agreed to the terms, Segundus wondered now if Childermass might have a string of lovers at inns and in small villages across the north of England, and the thought made him uncomfortable. 

“Well, I am certainly glad that you have consented to my proposition,” he said. “We shall see about making it official soon.

“You’ve forgotten one thing,” Childermass said.

“Oh?” Segundus was sure he hadn’t left anything out. “And what is that?”

“You’ve forgotten to propose,” Childermass said, his small smile was back, and his eyes glittered in the candlelight inside the library. 

“Oh Mr. Childermass, I am sorry! How rude of me!” Segundus immediately sank to his knee by Childermass’ chair and hesitantly held out his hand. It shook only a little, and of this he was proud. 

Childermass placed his warm, broad, calloused hand in Segundus’ small, pale, slender one. “Would you please do me the honor of becoming my husband Mr. Childermass?” Segundus asked. The pounding of his heart in his ears had drowned out the crackling of the fire in the hearth. 

“I will,” Childermass said. He gave Segundus’ hand a little squeeze and smiled.

“Good then, thank you.” For a moment, the warmth and roughness of Childermass’ hand in his had a sort of hypnotic effect upon Segundus. He found that he could think of nothing else to say, and that getting up off one knee, or moving at all was suddenly difficult as well. 

“You’re welcome sir,” Childermass said. He was looking warmly into Segundus’ eyes and Segundus felt the world slow to a stop around him. All he could see was the dark, deep gaze of Childermass’ eyes upon his and all he could feel was the warmth of Childermass’ hand clasped in his own. 

“Oh my,” he breathed.

A split second later, Segundus found the strength and focus to pull himself up off of his knee (quite stiffly) and execute a small bow to Childermass. “Very well then Mr. Childermass. I will wish you a good evening.”

“John,” said Childermass.

“Yes?” answered Segundus.

Childermass smirked. “No, you may call me John if you wish. When we are alone together. It is what two men who are engaged would do.” 

“I see, yes! Your name is also John. I seem to have forgotten that, though I did know it once. Haha. Yes. Quite a funny coincidence. Two Johns.. You and I.” Segundus realized he was babbling, but that was probably because he had just  _ also _ realized that he was in love with John Childermass. It had hit him quite suddenly, this realization. Like a sack of flour to the face, and now, he needed to escape the library and be alone and gather his wits. 

Childermass took this flow of words in stride. “Yes, both Johns,” he agreed. He then took his pipe out of his inside pocket, followed by his leather pouch full of tobacco. 

Segundus found his eyes drawn to the clever, swift movements of Childermass ink stained fingers as they took a perfect pinch of tobacco from the bag and fit it into the bowl of the pipe with practiced precision. He swallowed thickly. 

I should go to bed,” Segundus said, because he could think of nothing else to say. “Goodnight...John.”

“Goodnight, John,” said Childermass. His small smile was back. Segundus exited the library in as dignified a manner as he could and fled for the privacy and sanctuary of his room. 


	2. Chapter 2

Childermass sat in the library for a little while after Segundus left, smoking his pipe and thinking. He really should not have agreed to marry the other man so quickly. It was unlike him to make rash decisions such as accepting spur of the moment marriage proposals (especially ones that were as awkward and disjointed as Segundus’) on a whim. He was well aware that that sort of decision could have far reaching consequences. 

Only.... he had wished to make Starecross Hall his permanent home for quite some time now. He had lived with Norrell for decades, and had been well fed, well compensated and heavily relied upon. There had however been very little affection, very little true gratitude from his curmudgeonly master. Norrell had berated him often for small mistakes and misunderstandings, and while Childermass had not been unduly upset at such tongue lashings, it still wore on him over the years. 

Mr. Segundus and Mr. Honeyfoot and Mrs. Lennox, were very kind to him indeed. Segundus would always offer him food and drink and have the fire in the drawing room made up when he and Vinculus arrived, usually out of the dark of night from some far off location, sore and hungry. And they were always welcomed and fed and given bedrooms to stay in. Even when the Hall was crowded with students, and they had to share a room (a thing Childermass was now accustomed to from sharing rooms at various Inns with his scruffy traveling companion). 

Hadley-Bright and the other gentlemen who sometimes taught classes there kept a little bit of a wary eye upon him at first. But once they grew to know him and realized that he was not some violent thug or two faced spy from Norrell’s estate, they relaxed their guard and even began to address him directly and with polite respect. 

Before coming here to Starecross, drawn inexorably by the magic being studied and learned and taught within these walls, Childermass had assumed that Mr. Segundus was an ineffectual man. A slight, unremarkable man who was too soft spoken and too polite to truly teach and practice magic, or make any mark upon the world around him. 

He had been wrong of course. All he’d needed was to see Segundus standing in front of a class of eager, young, would-be magicians to see how much fire and intelligence and humor the man held within that slight frame. How his eyes lit up, and his voice grew oh so impassioned and earnest as he spoke of his greatest love, magic. It was then that Childermass realized he’d been gravely mistaken in the opinions he’d held about Segundus’ character for the past decade.

And so, when this man he now admired had given Childermass the opportunity to own a share of Starecross Hall for himself, and to help in building up the School for Magicians, he’d felt strongly compelled to say yes. 

It was not until Segundus, always so pale and so earnest, had knelt down by his chair and asked for his hand that Childermass had realized with a start that there was something else, more than his desire to make Starecross his home that lay behind his decision. He saw how Segundus’ dark eyes, full of hope, gazed into his own. He felt Segundus’s cool, soft hand enclosed in his, and it was in that moment that he realized fully that he was in love. 

It struck him suddenly, like a flash of sunlight on a cloudy day, and he’d been forced to school his face into an expression of fond humor in order to hide the bells that were suddenly clanging about inside his heart. He loved John Segundus. And he had just consented to marry him!

On the surface, this would sound like a perfect coincidence. Realizing that one is head over heels, besotted, utterly smitten with the man who has just that moment asked for one’s hand in marriage. But though the timing was very good indeed, the situation surrounding the timing of the proposal was less than fortuitous. Segundus very clearly did not love him back. He had told Childermass that it was a marriage of convenience. That he (Segundus) had never truly wished to be married. He had even gone so far as to make it clear that Childermass could pursue his own lovers if he chose. 

And what was Childermass to say?  _ ‘No sir, I want no other lovers. I want only you. In my bed. In my arms.’  _ Such words would not have been welcome, even if they were currently running like a babbling stream through Childermass’ head. 

Segundus had left the library to retire, and now Childermass was alone, with his pipe and his swelling heart and his unspoken words. Soon, he realized that sitting alone in a very dark room, pining for his new fiance was not a valuable use of his time, and he snuffed his pipe and headed off to bed himself. 

It being near Christmas, all the students had gone home for the holiday, leaving Starecross almost empty. Mrs. Lennox was visiting for a short while, along with he and Vinculus, and Segundus, and the servants of course. And Mr. Honeyfoot stopped in from time to time for social visits. Childermass had been afforded the luxury of his own room, and so had Vinculus, which pleased the raggedy man to no end. 

Childermass climbed the stairs to the second floor. He had been given the room next to Segundus’ and tried very hard not to notice that a golden light was coming through the crack beneath Segundus’ door. He tried even harder not to imagine Segundus, soft and pale, dressed in a nightgown, most likely with a book in his hands, sitting up in bed. Segundus, sitting in a bed Childermass very much wished to be in at the moment. 

Childermass quickly changed into his own nightdress, for it was cold, and the fire in his room had burned down low. He climbed between the covers and lay there for a long while, trying to sleep, trying to stop imagining what Segundus’ mouth would feel like if he were to kiss it. How Segundus’ slender body would feel wrapped in his arms. 

Perhaps agreeing to marry a man who did not love him back was the most ill advised decision he’d made in all his life. And he had made some questionable decisions in his past. Still, they had time did they not? They had the rest of their lives in fact, for Childermass to hope that Segundus would change his mind and grow to love him back. 

And if that never happened? Well, they would still be co-owners of Starecross Hall, and co-creators of the Starecross School for Magicians, and that was a lovely thing indeed, was it not?

He sighed and buried his face in his pillow and tried to push away thoughts of Segundus so that he could get some sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The following day, Segundus awoke with the dawn as usual, and for a few blissful moments, he did not remember what had transpired the evening before. And then it all came back to him in a rush. He had proposed marriage to Mr. Childermass! And Childermass had accepted! 

He felt a mix of joy and regret twisting incongruously inside him as he got out of bed and did his morning toilet. The joy came from the knowledge that now, he and Childermass would be able to purchase Starecross Hall from Mrs. Lennox and live there indefinitely. The regret came from proposing to a man he had just now realized he was in love with, who did not love him back. His only consolation came from the fact that Childermass seemed agreeable to a loveless marriage of convenience, and so Segundus was not keeping him from some romantic dream he’d hoped to one day achieve by finding a match of the heart. 

Marriages between men were often based on strong emotion, because they could not be for the purposes of having children (except in rare cases when the men would adopt a child from an orphanage or inherit the care of a relative’s child who had passed away suddenly). And so people expected male marriages to almost be even more romantic and affectionate than male/female marriages, because they often assumed that the reason two men married must be due only to strong affection. Men could already enter into business propositions without marrying, and they were not equipped to bear children, and so, as the common saying went:

“Men marry men for love and naught else.” It was an oft repeated phrase at male/male weddings. 

This was most likely the reason Mrs. Lennox had insisted that Segundus marry before she would sell him Starecross Hall. She knew that he would be more likely to stay with a husband he felt strongly for, than a business partner who might be pulled away by a spouse of their own, or for self centered reasons. Segundus had heard of many ill fated marriages that would make her assumptions false, but it was Mrs. Lennox’s assumptions he must deal with in order to be allowed to buy his precious Starecross, and so he deal with them he would. 

He went to see the lady in question immediately upon dressing himself that morning, in order to give her the happy news. 

“Oh how delightful!” she exclaimed, wearing a bright and happy smile. “I am overjoyed that you have found yourself a true love, and so quickly!”

“Well, erm yes. We had been circling the issue for quite a while,” Segundus replied, hating to have to lie to her. He consoled himself with the knowledge that he was in truth to be married, and that _he_ at least was very much enamored of his future husband, even if his husband only saw him as an acquaintance and business partner. 

“You must come have tea with me in my rooms later today!” she said, squeezing his arm and dabbing at her misty eyes with a lace handkerchief. “I won’t take no for an answer. Oh! I simply must see the two of you, the happy couple, having tea with me. And you must tell me all about how and when you knew that he was the one for you! And oh! Mr. Segundus, I am ever so happy for you!”

Segundus smiled politely, but inside he was panicking. How was he to expect Childermass to wax poetic about his love for Segundus when he did not feel it? And how was Segundus to embarrass himself so by telling Mrs. Lennox of all his soft, warm feelings for Mr. Childermass... _in front of Mr. Childermass?_

“Would three O’clock be alright? I will have Susanne set up a lovely little tea with some scones and clotted cream. Please say you’ll come!”

“Of course madam. Thank you,” Segundus bowed slightly and fled. How was he to explain this to Childermass? What would Childermass think? Would he suddenly feel that this was too much to ask and back out of their engagement? The very thought made Segundus’ blood run cold. If Childermass felt too put upon by the rigors of having to pretend to be deeply in love, he could still withdraw his answer and tell Segundus no. 

Segundus however, though he did not consider himself to be particularly brave, thought of himself as quite practical. He must go to Childermass now and inform him of their teatime visit with Mrs. Lennox, and with the things he would be expected to fabricate in order to convince the woman that they were indeed two men in love who wished very much to be married for romantic purposes. 

Surprisingly, Childermass readily agreed to have tea with Mrs. Lennox, and even did not seem so very put off by pretending to be madly in love with Segundus. “We must do what we must in order to buy Starecross Hall,” he said, and Segundus was incredibly grateful. 

They went together to Mrs. Lennox’s rooms at three o’clock and she welcomed them in with a broad smile. “Hello! Please do come in sirs! I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am to hear that you will be wed!”

Segundus and Childermass were quickly ushered to chairs by the fire and a small table with tea and scones was placed in front of them by the maid. 

“Now Mr. Childermass, Mr. Segundus, you simply must tell me when you knew that you were each others’ true love!” Mrs. Lennox had taken a seat opposite them and was clutching her hands in front of her ample bosom and grinning at both of them. 

Segundus looked at Childermass. Childermass looked back. He shrugged. “Um,” Childermass began. “I realized that Mr. Segundus...John that is...that he was the one for me when I saw him teaching his first few classes. The way he...well...how he becomes so impassioned about the subject of magic. It… it drew me in.” He finished, mumbling the last few words and looking down at his hands. 

_He is likely very uncomfortable,_ thought Segundus. _Having to come up with some story of falling in love with me. Poor man._

“And you Mr. Segundus?” Mrs. Lennox had turned her grin in Segundus’ direction, and he was momentarily caught off guard. “When was it that you knew Mr. Childermass was the owner of your heart?” Segundus was getting the distinct impression that Mrs. Lennox was a romantic. 

“Oh, he...um..I’ve always thought he was very mysterious and very interesting. And one day, we started talking, and... I grew to know how intelligent he was, and how kind...and...well. That’s when I knew.” He hadn’t painted a particularly glowing picture of their courtship, but they were both men of shy dispositions, not drawn to flowery prose, and so it would have to do to satisfy Mrs. Lennox’s curiosity.

The lady in question did not seem to notice the awkwardness nor the less than emotional recounting of how they fell in love. Her grin only grew broader and she let out a sigh as she leaned back in her chair. Her eyes had gone all starry. “How romantic!” She exclaimed, and Segundus felt a rush of relief. They were a believable match apparently. 

“You must tell me what you plan to do for the wedding!” Mrs. Lennox exclaimed next. 

Segundus cleared his throat. “We thought a somewhat shortened engagement, perhaps six months? And then a small ceremony in the chapel in Starecross proper, and then...well, back to work with the teaching of the students and so forth,” he said. 

“Nonsense!” Exclaimed Mrs. Lennox loudly, making Segundus jump a little. A six month engagement? That is unacceptable! Why, you shall be married as soon as possible! Do not your hearts long to be joined in matrimony?”

“Well I,” Segundus tried to interject, but Mrs. Lennox interrupted him again with a wave of her hand. 

“Like I’ve said, there is no need for the two of you to wait! Why don’t we have a wedding the week after this one? That way, you can be newlyweds for the Christmas holiday! Oh! Perhaps a Christmas Eve wedding? We can deck the mantles and the window sills with pine bows and put mistletoe in every doorway so that you may kiss one another at every opportunity!”

Childermass shifted uncomfortably next to him, and Segundus felt a familiar heat rising up into his face. Kiss Childermass? He was not sure he would survive such an event. 

“And you need not worry about the cost. I shall pay for all of the food and the drink and the decorations for the party.” 

“The party?” Childermass asked, looking a little worried. 

“Yes of course! For after the ceremony. Your reception party! There will be feasting and dancing and music and much merriment! I swear, it is as if the two of you had never been to a wedding before!”

Segundus had been to weddings before. Several times in fact. The most recent one being for Honeyfoot’s second eldest daughter. He rather enjoyed them. He could not dance very well, but he would tap his foot and nod his head to the merry music, and it was always enjoyable to eat lots of delicious foods and have a glass of wine or two. The thought of it being _his_ wedding however, to _Childermass_ made him feel something akin to dread. All of those eyes upon them, watching them say vows that only one of them truly wished to say. Mortifying. 

He was pulled from his reverie by Mrs. Lennox, who had started to speak again. “Yes, that shall be lovely. Yes, a wedding on Sunday after next, with Christmas soon after will do nicely, it being the Lord’s day and all. The students are home so they will not be underfoot. That will give me enough time to arrange for the food and the music, and to write up some hasty invitations and send them by messenger. We shall invite Mr. and Mrs. Honeyfoot, and Mr. Levy and Hadley-Bright and Purfois. And I cannot forget to invite Mrs. Strange and dear Emma Pole. I do believe they took up residence together after that horrible debacle with Mr. Norrell’s enchantment. You do not think it impolite to request that Mrs. Strange attend? So soon after her own husband’s disappearance?”

“Sunday?” Segundus asked, his heart in his throat. “Why that is less than two weeks from now! Do you not think that a bit rash Mrs. Lennox?” The reality of what he had set in motion was just fully occurring to Mr. Segundus. And now there were so many more people involved. A whole wedding party full of guests, and dancing...and mistletoe! 

“Yes of course Sunday. I should think the two of you would be quite eager to be married would you not?” Mrs. Lennox was looking at him quizzically, and Segundus realized that he was frowning and schooled his face into a happier expression.

“Sunday after next will serve our needs quite well,” Childermass intervened. “Yes, we are very eager to be wed, and thank you Mrs. Lennox, for your gracious offer to pay for the party and the wedding feast. We are happy to accept.” 

Segundus nodded along with Childermass’ words, unable to say anything himself because of his surprise and confusion. Childermass placed his hand over Segundus’ and gave it a reassuring squeeze, and all of a sudden, Segundus felt warm and protected and that everything would be fine. He looked over at Childermass and the man gave him a small smile. Segundus smiled back, feeling his face go hot. 

After that, they chatted amiably about the school and what their plans for the day would be. Mrs. Lennox told Segundus that she would have her lawyer draw up the papers to have him sign to receive the deed to Starecross Hall, and she was quite pleased to hear that Childermass would be paying for half. “Oh how romantic! You shall own the building and the school together!” she exclaimed. 

Childermass ducked his head then and Segundus thought he could detect a slight ruddiness about his cheeks. 

When they stood to leave, Mrs. Lennox took each of their hands in her own and squeezed them. “I can say this now, now that you have come out with the news that you shall be married,” she said, looking back and forth between them with gleaming eyes. “I had always hoped that the two of you would end up together. I see the way you look at one another, and how very well you get along. When Mr. Segundus told me the other day that he might just have a sweetheart in mind to propose to, I really did hope that it was you Mr. Childermass that he was referring to. And he was! You’ve both made me oh so happy. To know that my precious Starecross Hall will be in the hands of such a devoted and happy couple!”

They both grinned and nodded at her gushing and cooing, and Segundus at least wished he could dig a whole in the floor and conveniently disappear into it. 

They finally were allowed to leave, and by that point, it was half past four in the afternoon. “Will you join me for some supper?” Childermass asked, and he did not look embarrassed or uncomfortable in the slightest. This gave Segundus hope. 

“Certainly. That would be very nice,” Segundus replied, and together the two went down to the kitchen to see if the cook could give them a plate of something to eat. Segundus had to admit that he felt lighter and more unconcerned than he had in a while, now that Mrs. Lennox knew, and believed their story, and now that she had agreed to sell them Starecross Hall. Yes, making Childermass join him in such a blatant falsehood as a marriage proposal based on requited love _had_ been very embarrassing, but that was behind them for the moment.

When they got down to the kitchen, Segundus quickly realized that his light, unconcerned feeling had arrived too soon. Mr. Honeyfoot and Vinculus were already there, eating some beef stew and having a glass of beer. Honeyfoot’s eyes lit up when he spotted Segundus descending the stairs. “Oh Mr. Segundus! Mr. Childermass! I must give you both my congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!”

Segundus winced. It seemed that Mrs. Lennox had spread the word of their engagement very quickly. Honeyfoot was beaming, while Vinculus seemed to be more interested in the remnants of his beef stew and was busily scooping them up with a spoon. 

“Thank you Mr. Honeyfoot,” Segundus replied, putting on what he hoped was a pleasant expression and sitting down at the table. Childermass sat in the chair next to him. 

“I am ever so glad you finally came out and asked for Mr. Childermass’ hand in marriage!” exclaimed Honeyfoot. “I always did have an inclination that you fancied him, and it looks as if I was right!”

 _Land sakes!_ Apparently everyone in Starecross Hall thought that Segundus had been smitten with Mr. Childermass. 

“Ah good. You finally got the wee thing to marry you,” said Vinculus around a chunk of beef, leering at Childermass. “Now you can stop sighing whenever he walks by like some God blessed fool.”

Childermass looked sharply at Vinculus and his cheeks took on a ruddier complexion. Segundus was glad that he was not the only person who was to be the subject of mistaken motives and romantic imaginings in this whole convoluted affair. 

“I’ll tell the cook that we’ll be needing more stew and some more beer, unless you prefer coffee or tea sirs?” Asked Honeyfoot, still grinning like a jack o'lantern at them. 

“Tea would be fine please,” replied Segundus.

“Coffee,” mumbled Childermass, still a bit red in the cheeks. 

Honeyfoot bustled off, leaving the two with Vinculus, who thankfully was too busy licking his bowl to say anything further. 

“I did not realize that Mrs. Lennox would make our...erm...engagement so very public so quickly,” Segundus whispered to Childermass. 

The other man shrugged. “It is what dowagers with no more children to marry off do,” he said, sounding remarkably unconcerned. “They need to find joy in the joy of others.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Segundus looked down at his hand on the table and noted how close it was to Childermass’ large, rough looking hand, and tried to push down the urge to intertwine their fingers. “I am very glad that she is happy.”

“So am I,” said Childermass. “She is a good sort of person. She means well, and she clearly cares very much about you.”

Vinculus had leaned back against the wall, pulled his hat over his eyes and had promptly fallen asleep, as was evidenced by a thin, wavering snore emanating from under the hat. 

“I did not know she would push to have the wedding so soon,” Segundus whispered, “I am sorry if that was startling, or if you did not wish to begin our arrangement so suddenly.” He knew not what else to say to Childermass. He only felt poorly that the man would be expected to go through a wedding and a party and all the trimmings in only 8 days' time. 

“It will not matter to me when we marry, only that it happens and we are able to purchase Starecross, so you need not apologize.” Childermass looked at him then and smiled warmly, and Segundus felt his heart skip a beat. 

“Oh, well that is good then,” Segundus replied. “If ever you change your mind, you must let me know, for I would hate to push such a thing upon you if you did not wish it. Breaking an engagement will be a bit of a scandal, but it is not worth it if it is unpleasant for you.” 

Childermass’ smile faltered, but his eyes stayed steady. He placed his hand over Segundus’, warm and calloused, and Segundus’ breath caught a little in his throat. “I will not change my mind. I know this much,” he said. 

Segundus, struck speechless by the warmth of Childermass’ hand covering his own, could only nod. 

Just then, Honeyfoot came back into the kitchen, all smiles, and Childermass snatched his hand away, as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. 

“Oh sirs, no need to act so proper around me!” Honeyfoot exclaimed, having seen that they’d been holding hands. “I am a husband, father and grandfather, and we are all men of an age here. You may hold hands and be sweet to your hearts’ content. It shall not bother me!”

He informed them that the cook would bring out two more bowls of stew and some coffee and tea, and then excused himself to the library to do some reading in preparation for new classes that would begin after New Years. Shortly afterward, the cook did bring their food, giving them a knowing smile that told Segundus she’d also been informed of their engagement. Perhaps the entire village of Starecross knew by now!

They had a pleasant supper, the stew was quite good, and Segundus allowed himself to simply be at ease and enjoy Childermass’ company. They talked of inconsequential things. Would there be much snow this winter? The possibility of building a new set of shelves for the library. It was pleasant and simple and Segundus felt his heart warming from more than just the stew and tea. 

Eventually, Childermass elbowed Vinculus to wake the man back up again and insisted that they also retire to the library to study some of the writing upon the man’s skin. Segundus asked if he might come too, which Childermass readily agreed to, and the three men made their way to the library together. 

That night, while he was warm and cozy in his bed, Segundus allowed himself to hope that this marriage of convenience might not be as difficult or as torturous as he’d imagined. Childermass had been quite kind and friendly for the entirety of the day they’d spent together, and perhaps he might one day return Segundus’ feelings? It was impossible to know, and it was silly of Segundus to hope, after pushing a marriage proposal upon the man without warning, that his love would be returned. 

He drifted off to sleep to the memory of Childermass’ hand atop his own. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that marriages done in private residences are not legally binding in the UK. And I didn't dig at all into marriage customs in 1817 in the UK, so.... the boys will be getting married in Starecross. I just did not feel like writing the wedding party traveling from the church to Starecross Hall. And gay marriage is OK, and it's an AU! LET ME HAVE THIS!

Word of the wedding and the reception party spread quickly. Soon letters of congratulations and responses to the invitations were coming in via messenger. Mrs. Lennox spared no expense in sending invitations and in purchasing all manner of food and drink and decorations for the affair. Boxes of beeswax candles and pine bows and bushels of mistletoe arrived, along with lengths of red and green satin. Childermass suspected that she was living vicariously through their wedding, but was not bothered by this suspicion in the slightest. Let the woman have her fun. Especially if it was no cost to him or Segundus.

Arabella Strange and Emma Pole sent word that they would attend. There were rumors that the two of them would one day also be married, being that they were such dear friends (and perhaps more), and that they were both without husbands. Mr. Strange had of course been lost to the darkness that had swallowed up Hurtfew Abbey, and Emma’s marriage had dissolved due to a rare divorce from Sir Walter. 

All of Mr. Norrell’s servants who had worked under Childermass would be in attendance. Hannah, Lucy, Dido, Davey and Lucas, along with Charles from Starecross Hall. All of the Honeyfoots would be there, along with Levy, Purfois and Hadley-Bright. It would be a strange mix of gentlefolk and servants, along with a few townspeople from Starecross village that wished to be in attendance. Vinculus would be there too of course, and even Mr. Strange’s friends from Venice, the Graysteels would be in attendance. 

It was turning out to be the event of the year, and this made Childermass a little unsettled. He had never wished to be the center of attention in this way, often preferring to stay in the shadows, or in small groups of acquaintances, and the wedding and reception would put he and his poor, nervous fiancé, who he suspected was of a similar disposition, squarely in the centre of everyone’s attentions for an entire day and night. He realized that he was already looking forward to the evening after the wedding. Not because there would be any sort of intimate exchange between him and Segundus (Segundus had made it quite clear that none was expected), but merely so they could be alone together and escape the eyes of the public for a while. 

And then he remembered what Segundus had told him the other night in the library, before he’d officially proposed. 

_ You need not even share a room with me _ . 

Would Segundus expect them to sleep separately on their wedding night? Surely not. The thought made Childermass feel cold inside. True, he had never wanted marriage for himself, but now that he knew that he had strong feelings for Segundus, and now that they were to be married, even as a marriage of convenience, he found that he wished to be closer to Segundus more often. The thought of sleeping alone, or worse, next to Vinculus, instead of in Segundus’ bed on their wedding night was a sad and dreary one. 

Perhaps he would suggest to Segundus that it would help keep up appearances if they were to sleep in the same bed on their wedding night. It would seem strange not to, especially with the way everyone in Starecross Hall had been giving them significant looks. They were clearly expected to consummate their marriage as soon as possible. 

And furthermore, it would be bitterly cold outside. It would simply be more prudent to share a bed, whether they were married or no. 

He went in search of Segundus to speak with him and found him in the sitting room with a book and a cup of tea. Honeyfoot was there as well, and the two were not so much reading as they were chatting about magic. 

Mr. Segundus sir,” Childermass said upon entering the sitting room. Segundus looked up at him with large dark eyes and Childermass momentarily lost his train of thought. 

“Yes Mr. Childermass?” his fiancé asked.

“I would speak with you in private for a moment, if Mr. Honeyfoot would not mind,” Childermass nodded his head in Honeyfoot’s direction. 

“Oh not at all sirs! I have other things to do today, I shall leave you two alone.” He immediately got up and left the room with a smile at Segundus that spoke volumes. It seemed everyone was very keen on them being alone together all of a sudden. 

After Honeyfoot departed, Segundus rose from his seat and came closer, looking expectantly at Childermass.

“There is something I wish to discuss with you about the wedding night,” Childermass began, but he did not get much farther, for Segundus put a hand on his arm to forestall his speaking. 

“I too had something I wished to discuss, and I pray you allow me to speak first. I know that I said you did not need to share a room with me, but I think it prudent that we sleep in the same room, at least for the wedding night. Otherwise people will think it strange. And you need not worry about sleeping next to me if you do not wish. I can sleep in a chair by the fire and you may have the bed if you wish.”

Childermass suppressed a fond smile. “I agree Mr. Segundus. It would seem quite unusual were we to sleep separately on our wedding night. And furthermore, I would much rather sleep by your side, as it will be cold, and two bodies will make more warmth than one.” 

Segundus’ cheeks went pink and he smiled a shy smile that made Childermass’ heart feel as if it were being squeezed gently inside his chest. 

“Very well. I am glad we have settled the matter,” Segundus said, looking pleased. 

“Everyone has been quite supportive of our being affectionate with one another,” Childermass said, encouraged by Segundus’ blushing. “Perhaps after the wedding, we should indulge them with some holding of hands or kisses upon the cheek, so that they do not grow too suspicious that our marriage is...is a loveless one.” He finished, feeling that coldness in his chest return at the mention of their marriage being about business only. 

“Oh...yes. I suppose that would be prudent,” Segundus said, his cheeks flushing an even darker shade of pink. He looked down at the floor, and then back up at Childermass through his lashes. “I have never done such things with anyone before. I fear I will be frightfully awkward at it.”

“If that is the case,” Childermass said, knowing that he should not continue speaking what was in his mind, but doing it anyway because he was a besotted fool, “I will be happy to practice such things with you in private. So that they look genuine when acted out in front of others.”

Segundus’ eyes went wide, and his mouth fell open just a little bit, but he rallied quickly and nodded. “Yes, that would be very much appreciated Mr. Childermass. Where and when shall we...erm… practice?”

“Could we go to your room?” Childermass asked, cursing himself for being this forward, yet unable to resist. The thought of being allowed to touch Segundus, to be near his softness, it had effectively erased all of his logic and self control. 

“Certainly,” Segundus said, and without another word, he led Childermass up the stairs. They passed Lucas in the hall, and Segundus said, quite loudly “Yes! Mr. Childermass! There is a particular book in my room you simply must see!” 

Childermass smiled privately to himself, as Segundus’ clumsy attempts to excuse their being alone together were hardly to be believed by a man such as Lucas, but he did not say anything. 

Soon, they were alone in Segundus’ room with the door safely closed behind them. Segundus stood in the center of the room, looking at everything but Childermass, and for a moment, Childermass worried that he was pushing Segundus to do something that the other man might find unpleasant. But then he remembered that Segundus had readily agreed to this situation, and that it had been Segundus after all who had mentioned that he lacked practice with intimate moments. And so he felt a bit better. 

“Shall we sit together upon the bed?” he asked Segundus and the other man nodded and quickly sat down. Childermass joined him. Sitting close, but not too close. 

“What would you like to practice first?” Childermass asked.

“Oh, I think the holding of hands first,” Segundus replied. He was blushing again, quite prettily, and his soft dark eyes were looking down at his hands in his lap. 

Childermass reached over and picked up one of Segundus’ slim, pale hands and gently intertwined their fingers. “How is this sir? Does this feel unpleasant or unnatural to you?” he asked. Inside his chest, his heart had started up a galloping pace, and he could feel his own cheeks grow warm at the feel of Segundus’ soft hand in his own. 

“It feels fine,” Segundus replied, his voice thick with nervousness. “And you sir? Are you comfortable?”

Childermass nodded, then, without permission from his brain, his thumb began to make lazy stroking motions across Segundus’ palm, in between their interlaced fingers. Segundus took in a shuddering breath that Childermass took to mean that he was discomfited, and so he stopped the motion of his thumb. 

“No, it was...alright,” said Segundus. The poor man was willing to put up with quite a bit in order to keep up the facade of a loving marriage, and Childermass admired him for it, even as he felt a stab of regret that it was all play acting. 

“Perhaps I could kiss you upon the cheek?” Childermass asked, feeling like the worst sort of cad, but again, unable to help himself. Segundus’ soft hair and pale glowing skin, and dark eyes, and his narrow shoulders, and the feel of his small hand held in Childermass’ were swiftly eroding Childermass’ resolve. He had meant only to sit and hold hands with Segundus briefly, to help them both feel comfortable with the act, enough to perform it for others. And yet, here was Childermass, consumed with the urge to do more, to go further. He longed to wrap Segundus up in his arms and kiss his mouth. To drive the fingers of his hands into that soft, dark hair. 

“A kiss on the cheek would certainly be a good thing to practice,” Segundus said, a small tremor in his voice. Childermass wished he knew if it was from fear or if Segundus might also be enjoying these small touches. 

Regardless, Childermass was overcome with affection and his heart was swelling with warmth and he was quite nervous, and so he leaned in and kissed Segundus upon the cheek. The softness of the skin beneath his lips should not have surprised him, but it did. Segundus’ skin was like silk, and he smelled of tea. Childermass pulled back quickly, his breath coming faster. 

“How was that?” he asked, hoping he had not pushed the other man. 

“That was fine,” replied Segundus, also seeming a little out of breath. “Might I do the same? For surely, they will not expect only one of us to kiss the other, but will expect both of us to do some kissing.”

“Certainly,” said Childermass, and a greater understatement had never been made in all his life. “Certainly, please feel free to practice kissing my cheek as well.”

Segundus looked for a moment as if he were steeling up his resolve, and then he leaned forward and kissed Childermass’ cheek. It was like being kissed by a fawn in a moonlit forest. Or at least that is the image that bloomed instantly inside Childermass’ mind when he felt Segundus’ soft lips briefly caress his stubbled cheek. 

Segundus leaned back and looked uncertainly at Childermass. “How was that Mr. Childermass?” he asked. “Did I do well?” 

“Yes, you did,” Childermass said, noting that his voice had grown quite gruff and low. “It was quite adequate.” 

Segundus smiled a small smile. “Good,” he remarked. “As I said, I have not had any experience with matters of intimacy. I am grateful that you would help me in this manner.” 

“There are many other things we could practice, but I would not wish to overwhelm you.” 

“Oh, I assure you Mr. Childermass, I do not feel in the least overwhelmed. What other things would you wish to practice?” asked Segundus. 

“Well, perhaps, we could kiss one another upon the hand. I have seen other spouses do such a thing as a sign of affection,” Childermass suggested, again feeling a little as if he were taking advantage of Segundus’ good nature. 

“Certainly!” Segundus exclaimed, but he sat there, unmoving, seemingly unaware of how to start such an action.

Childermass picked up Segundus’ hand and brought it to his lips, where he gently kissed Segundus upon each knuckle, then kissed the back of his hand (more silk!) down to the top of Segundus’ wrist. Too late he realized that his eyes had fluttered closed, and so they flew open when he heard Segundus’ sharp intake of breath beside him. 

“Oh my! That feels, quite interesting Mr. Childermass. It is true that I have seen couples engage in the kissing of hands, but I had never experienced such a thing myself. Might I kiss your hand as well?”

Childermass nodded enthusiastically for he had lost the ability to speak. Segundus then took Childermass’ hand in both of his own and raised it to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss to the centermost of Childermass’ knuckles, then to the back of his hand. The softness of his lips against Childermass’ skin sent little shivers all down Childermass’ spine. The sight of Segundus, his eyes closed, and his dark lashes casting shadows against his pale cheeks, his mouth pressed oh so gently to Childermass’ hand...Childermass was gripped with a very strong urge to lift that mouth to his own and kiss Segundus properly and deeply. Segundus placed another feather light kiss upon Childermass’ hand and Childermass pulled it away abruptly.

“I think we have practiced enough,” he managed to say, mortified that his voice had gone rough and a bit broken. “I hope that this has helped you to feel more comfortable with the husbandly acts that will be expected of us. My, I am suddenly quite thirsty. I will go down to the well to fetch some water. I shall see you later this evening Mr. Segundus. Thank you and good day.”

He said all of this in a rush as he stood up, and then left Segundus’ room quite abruptly. He did so because if he stayed, he would surely spill out his feelings, or push himself upon Segundus in a physical manner and that would humiliate him and frighten the other man.

Segundus did not call after him, and Childermass dared not look back. He went down the stairs swiftly and into the back garden of Starecross Hall, taking deep breaths and trying to calm his pounding heart. He could not do this. Not for the rest of his life. He could not marry a man he loved desperately and yet never have his feelings returned. He could not pretend to pretend to care, when he cared so very much. 

He decided that he needed to take a long walk out on the moors. It was a cold day, and the icy wind and the smell of heather and the meager warmth of the winter sun might distract him from his worries. He set out at a brisk pace, intending to wear himself out a little before dinner time. 


	5. Chapter 5

Segundus stared dumbfounded at Childermass as he left the room and shut the door behind him. The gentle, thrilling way Childermass had held Segundus’ hand, and then kissed it, with feather light touches of his surprisingly soft lips… it had made hope bloom inside Segundus’ heart. That these could be the actions of a man who felt more than simple friendship. That the tenderness and gentleness of Childermass’ lips and fingers had meant that perhaps he might return Segundus’ feelings. 

And then of course the whole thing had crumbled. Segundus had done something wrong, had been too forward, and Childermass had become very uncomfortable and had been up like a shot and out. 

Now, Segundus was left, staring at his bedroom door, wondering what on earth he could have done to make Childermass flee. 

Perhaps it was the way in which Segundus had kissed Childermass’ hand? Had it been so very different from the way Childermass had done it?

Childermass had picked up Segundus’ hand and held it like a precious keepsake, placing those oh-so-soft kisses across Segundus’ knuckles… it had made Segundus’ stomach go all fluttery and his heart race. 

Now, somehow he had ruined it, that gentle, intimate moment between them. He sighed deeply and prepared to go down to the kitchen. Perhaps he could find Childermass and talk to him. He hated the idea of exposing himself to rejection, but he also hated Childermass walking about, thinking something ill of him. If only he could find out  _ what _ the man was thinking?

When he reached the kitchen, he was surprised to see the kitchen table covered in piles of red and green velvet and boxes of candles. A fortune’s worth! Mrs. Lennox was there, with her two maids, and she was enthusiastically instructing them on where and how to hang the banners of colorful fabric and where to place the candles. 

“Mr. Segundus!” She exclaimed excitedly upon seeing him. “I am so glad you are here! You can give me your opinion on the decorations for your upcoming wedding!”

Segundus smiled stiffly, but inside he felt a stab of anxiety. Mrs. Lennox was clearly very happy from the idea that Segundus would soon be married to Childermass, and was making quite a fuss about it. Segundus had originally hoped to have a small ceremony in Starecross church, with only Mrs. Lennox and perhaps Mr. Honeyfoot in attendance as witnesses. Now, it had become a large and expensive and garish affair. And yet, Mrs. Lennox was so very happy. And she had always been so kind and supportive to Segundus, treating him as a beloved nephew from the day they’d met. How could he deny her this? 

“Have you seen Mr. Childermass?” he asked, hoping to find his missing fiancé.

“I have! He came through here, looking a little bit put out, just a few moments ago. I think he said something about going for a stroll,” Mrs. Lennox said this absently as she held up a swath of red velvet against one of the walls leading to the foyer. “Mr. Segundus! How do you like this? I think we should drape the entranceways of Starecross with red velvet and have the bower draped in green velvet and holly branches.”

“Bower?” Segundus felt a little overwhelmed by Mrs. Lennox’s enthusiasm. “I was unaware that there was to be a bower.”

“Oh yes! Young Lucas has volunteered to fashion one out of wood and deck it with seasonal greenery and holly and pine! It shall be a lovely place for you both to stand as you read your vows!”

“Vows?” Segundus was feeling a little light headed. He had not realized that weddings took so much planning and involved so many details. Though, he supposed he would have had no way of knowing, as he only ever saw the finished product. And none of the weddings he’d ever attended were financed and planned out by Mrs. Lennox. A woman of means, she seemed bent upon making this an occasion to remember. 

“Yes my silly boy! Vows! Of course!” she chirped, giving him a fondly exasperated look. “Mr. Childermass and yourself will be saying your vows under the bower, before your first kiss as a wedded couple.” 

“Kiss?” Segundus thought he might faint. His face must have been a sight, for Mrs. Lennox left off her fussing with the red velvet and came over to take him by the elbow. 

“Oh dear, Mr. Segundus! I am sorry to have overwhelmed you with all of these details. Lets have you sit down for a moment and I’ll have Sally or Gertrude bring you a cup of tea.” She led Segundus to a chair at the kitchen table and pushed him gently down into it like the motherly force of nature she was. He gratefully sat and accepted the cup of tea that was given to him a few moments later. 

“I am alright,” he said, waving away Sally’s offer of some toast or some broth. “I am only a little unaccustomed to the erm...inner workings of weddings. I had thought that Mr. Childermass and I would marry in a small chapel and with very few guests. Not in Starecross Hall itself, with so many in attendance.”

“Yes I am sorry Mr. Segundus,” said Mrs. Lennox, sitting down next to him and placing a soothing hand upon his back. “I suppose I have gone a bit wild with the preparations. It is only that I thought why make everyone traipse from Starecross village chapel all the way here for the reception when we could simply have the ceremony here to start with. And I am dear friends with the town priest. It will be no trouble to move everything to Starecross Hall. And then, you and your new husband need only walk up the stairs to retire for your wedding night!”

_ Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.  _ The wedding night! He had almost forgotten. Though how could he forget? He was glad that he and Childermass had already settled the question of them sharing a room and a bed for the evening. The thought of doing so, even in a not-at-all-romantic fashion still made Segundus feel all warm inside. 

“Do not be nervous Mr. Segundus,” said Mrs. Lennox reassuringly, having adequately read the expression on his face as one of romantic terror. She lowered her voice and leaned a little closer so as not to be overheard by the maids that were bustling about nearby. “It may seem a little strange at first...the act of physical love, but you will soon grow to like it, I am certain.” 

How Mrs. Lennox knew that Segundus was a virgin, and how she felt qualified to reassure him upon matters of physical intimacy, Segundus did not care to know. He nodded swiftly, then got up from his seat. “I think I shall go in search of my fiancé,” he said. “For we have many things to discuss.” He hurried out of the kitchen and out the door to the garden. 

Childermass was not to be found in the garden, nor the courtyard, nor the stables. After several minutes of looking, Segundus gave up and went to the library to try and work on his lesson plans for after the new year. 

It was very late that evening when he heard Childermass’ boots approach the library. He looked up in time to see the man’s distinct shape, in his greatcoat still, with his hat held in his hands, standing in the doorway. 

“Hello Mr. Segundus,” Childermass said.

“Hello Mr. Childermass,” replied Segundus.

Childermass entered the library and came to stand by Segundus’ chair. Segundus stood up, in order to be polite. 

“I am sorry to say, Mr. Childermass, that Mrs. Lennox has become quite involved in the preparations for our wedding. I am not certain that you noticed all the decorations when you came in.”

Childermass nodded. “I did. It seems she is very invested in the matter.”

“Yes,” Segundus nodded. “I did not know everyone in Starecross Hall so urgently wanted me to marry and settle down.”

Childermass smiled and let out a warm chuckle. “It is because you are a kind and good person, and so everyone wishes for your happiness.” 

Segundus could not help going all hot and ducking his head to hide his blush. “Oh Mr. Childermass. I am not all that nice or that good.”

“You are,” Childermass insisted, and placed a hand upon Segundus’ shoulder, and Segundus dared not look up into his eyes. 

“Well, so are you,” Segundus replied. “Why was everyone not congratulating you and pressing you with uncomfortable questions?” he asked instead.

Childermass shrugged and his hand left Segundus’ shoulder. “Because I am not nice or good. I am a rough sort of person. People do not trust me or like me the way they like and trust you.” Seeing the look on Segundus’ face, he made a dismissive wave with his hand and his grin came back. “It is a reputation I earned by doing many questionable things for many years. You were the victim of some of those things, and for that, I am sorry. But do not think that I am some misunderstood soul who only meant well. I did not.”

Segundus frowned at this, though he knew Childermass spoke the truth. “I know that your past and your time in Mr. Norrell’s service brought with it some...rather difficult decisions and complicated...acts. But do you still feel as if you are motivated toward ill things?” The Childermass Segundus knew now was not at all the Childermass he knew a decade ago, but he wanted to hear how the man himself felt. 

“No, I do not. I have settled into this life in the country and into Starecross Hall,” Childermass replied. “I am no one’s servant any longer and I may live my life how I choose. And I choose to live it here. With you.” He paused then, and cleared his throat. “And well, of course with the school and the students… you… you understand what I mean sir.” 

Segundus felt his heart grow warm and swell within his chest and he smiled up at Childermass. It made him very happy to hear that his future husband loved Starecross as much as he did. 


	6. Chapter 6

The wedding was upon them far too quickly. Somehow everyone who was invited had been able to attend, even at such short notice. Childermass suspected that this was due in large part to Mr. Segundus. He was well liked, and everyone had assumed he would stay unmarried for the rest of his days. And so all of his friends and acquaintances wished him to be happy, and wanted very much to witness this happiness in the form of attending his wedding. 

Also, word had spread quite quickly about Mrs. Lennox’s efforts to make this wedding the most memorable occasion in the last several years. She was known for not sparing any expense in any social gathering she put together, and so guests also came because they knew they would be well fed and that there would be ample supplies of beer and whiskey and wine to drink. 

What with the Honeyfoot girls’ husbands and two of their children, and Mrs. Blake, there were 30 people in attendance. Starcross Hall was a large and rambling building and accommodating that many people would not be a concern. Several of them wished to stay the night, as evenings had grown very cold, and it smelled like snow. Without the students there to take up rooms, there would be plenty of space. 

The wedding would be held in the large sitting room of Starecross Hall, and it was already decked with swathes of red and green velvet and strings of cranberries and popped corn in red and white chains were hung about above the fireplace, along with fragrant pine bows and more candles than Childermass had ever seen in his life. 

He noted with no small amount of nervousness that mistletoe was hung in every doorway, and made a promise to himself to stay out of doorways when Segundus was around. It was a long held tradition to bully young couples into kissing beneath mistletoe, and while kissing John Segundus was a thing that Childermass wanted with every fibre of his being, he did not think that Segundus would wish the same. The man would likely find such a public display humiliating. And worse, if he did not share Childermass’ intense attraction, he might also find it somewhat revolting. 

Childermass eyed the mistletoe warily. 

The wedding was due to begin at three o’clock. To allow time for guests to arrive and refresh themselves and perhaps eat and drink a bit before it started. 

Childermass had been given some hand me down clothing from Mrs. Lennox that her eldest son had grown out of. A smart black waistcoat with black buttons, and a new, finer white linen shirt that he could wear to more formal events, now that he was to be married to a gentleman. Even a poor and threadbare one such as Mr. Segundus. He had washed up as best he could and ran a comb through his long, tangled hair, pulling it back into a long braid. He’d learned braiding during his time as a sailor, and though half of his hair still fell out of the braid and into his eyes, necessitating that he tuck it behind his ears, he thought it looked well enough.

The end product was not as formal as he’d wished, but he did indeed look like a polished version of himself and that, he supposed, was the best he could hope for. 

As per tradition, he was not allowed to see Segundus until he met him at the altar, and the separation from his fiancé, even for half a day, was causing a strange sort of restlessness inside him. He had been spending more and more time with Segundus since the proposal, having breakfast with him every morning, talks in the library every evening, and Segundus had gotten into the habit of accompanying Childermass when he stepped out for a smoke. Childermass had grown used to Segundus’ shy smile and gentle voice and his earnest and sometimes quite forthright opinions upon magic. 

They had been working on a spell to find forgotten books of magic so that they might somehow locate any books Norrell had missed in his decades long crusade to capture all texts relating to magic in the country of England. It had been quite enjoyable. Coming up with ways to accomplish a common goal. Trying certain combinations of spells. Taking notes. Discussing the outcomes. Childermass realized with a start one day that he was the happiest he had ever been in his life. 

And still, it was all just a ruse. Just a falsehood that allowed Segundus to finally own Starecross Hall and the school. But what did it really matter if Segundus would never truly love Childermass in return? If he had his school and he was happy, that was all Childermass truly wanted. 

At least that is what he told himself when he was trying to be selfless. In his less generous times however, lying in bed awake at night, thinking of Segundus’ soft hair and dark eyes and wishing the other man were in the bed with him, he was not so charitable. During times like those, he thought relentlessly of kissing Segundus. Of wrapping him up in Childermass’ arms and holding him close. He thought of doing all sorts of things, and the ways in which Segundus might respond if he were to ever return Childermass’ feelings. He knew that losing himself in fantasies about a man who could not love him back was a painful and pointless endeavor, but he also could not help himself. 

And now the day of their wedding had arrived and Childermass found that he was far more nervous than he’d expected himself to be. He could not seem to sit still and if he were not dressed in his wedding clothes, he would surely have gone for a walk out on the moors, or to the stable to take Brewer for a ride to calm his mind. But he could do neither of those things. He was a groom, waiting to marry his future husband, stuck sitting in a chair in the kitchen while he watched the servants bustle about with trays of food and kegs of ale. 

Segundus was upstairs with Mrs. Lennox, Mrs. Blake, Arabella Strange and Emma Wintertowne, likely being fussed over to no end, and Childermass was glad he was not the sort to inspire such feminine attentions, for he would surely find that sort of scrutiny unbearable. 

Finally, it was half past two and Mrs. Lennox came down to instruct Childermass on where to stand (beneath a hastily but beautifully constructed bower in the large sitting room) and what to say and how to say it. She also insisted that he tuck a few sprigs of holly into his hair, and he grudgingly obliged her. The priest gave him a cheery smile and introduced himself as “Father  Lathrop ”. He and Childermass chatted politely for a few moments while the guests filed in and took their seats in hastily accumulated chairs in the sitting room. 

My but there were a lot of people! Childermass felt his stomach twist with nervous twitters as he watched all of the guests chatting and greeting one another and getting settled. Hannah, Lucy and Dido, along with Lucas and Davey came up to him to wish him well. Hannah insisted upon putting a small, white rose bud in the top button hole of his jacket and on kissing him upon the cheek. She had always been a bit sweet on him, and he was glad she was there to offer her support. 

Soon, everyone was seated, and were looking at the staircase, waiting for Segundus to descend. The Hall had been decorated beautifully and candles flickered upon many surfaces, casting a golden glow upon the velvet banners and drapes and pine bows that festooned doorways and window frames. 

Mrs. Lennox had hired a fiddle player to play a cheerful yet formal tune and the man struck up his bow just as Childermass spied Segundus’ feet coming down the stairs. He swallowed thickly and tried to calm his nervous stomach, but it was to no avail. As more and more of his fiancé’s figure came into view, Childermass only grew more and more jittery and fluttery inside. 

Segundus was wearing a new waistcoat as well, along with a new shirt and Mrs. Lennox had kindly replaced his missing buttons on his jacket. He was fresh faced and flushed and his eyes were sparkling and dark and lovely, and he wore a crown of winter honeysuckle and winter roses upon his head. 

Childermass’ heart was pounding away as he saw Segundus approach. He was somewhat consoled by the look upon Segundus’ face. The man looked terrified. His cheeks were flushed pink and his eyes, bright and shining, were also wide with what looked like apprehension. Childermass felt a stab of pity for Segundus, being that he was only going through this public ordeal in order to obtain his dreams of owning the Hall and the school. 

Segundus arrived and stood opposite Childermass in front of the altar, and Childermass tried his best to give his groom-to-be a reassuring look. He smiled at Segundus, and Segundus bravely smiled back. 

The priest stepped up and addressed the assembled guests, welcoming them to the marriage of John Childermass and John Segundus. He then turned to face Childermass and Segundus and asked them to repeat the vows after him. 

“I, John Childermass, take thee, John Segundus, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, amen.” 

Childermass looked deeply into Segundus’ eyes as he said the words. He somehow wanted Segundus to know that he meant every last one of them. That he would devote the rest of his life to caring for, cherishing and protecting this man who stood before him. Segundus looked a little as if he might faint.

“I, John Segundus, take thee, John Childermass, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, amen.” 

Segundus’ voice wavered, but held, and he spoke the vows without too much trouble. He was looking back at Childermass with something akin to awe, and Childermass let himself believe, if just for a moment that Segundus also meant the words he was speaking. That he too wished to be bonded with Childermass for life. To cherish and hold him in his heart as well. 

And then it was over. The whole affair took only a few moments, and then the priest was saying “you may now kiss.”

Childermass had forgotten about the kiss. He could tell by the alarmed look upon Mr. Segundus’ face that he had forgotten as well. Regardless, they were standing in front of a crowd of thirty wedding guests, and it was traditional to kiss one’s spouse at the end of a wedding ceremony, and so there was no time to think. Childermass stepped closer to Segundus, leaned in and pressed his lips to Segundus’ lips for just a moment. He pulled back, heart pounding and stared into Segundus’ wide eyes, and then the guests all erupted with applause and hoots and hollering. 

He and Segundus were given glasses of wine and everyone wanted to talk to them, and they got quite separated for a while. 

They managed to meet eventually by a corner of the table where all of the food was laid out, and could speak briefly. “That was not as bad as I’d imagined it would be,” Segundus remarked. Then he must have seen the look upon Childermass’ face, for he rushed to explain. “Not the part of being married to you Mr. Childermass! Only the whole ceremony part. I had expected it to be longer and more official somehow.” 

“Yes, it was rather brief was it not?” Childermass agreed, nodding. “How are you feeling?” he asked. 

“Oh, quite well. I was very nervous today, and now I feel as if I can relax somewhat.” 

“I too was unsettled,” said Childermass. “I too am glad it is over. Now, all that is left to do is to eat and drink and make merry,” he grinned, and Segundus grinned back at him. Childermass tactfully did not bring up the fact that they would be sharing a room that night.

“And what are you two lovebirds talking of!” Arabella Strange and Emma Wintertowne had walked over, arm in arm and Mrs. Strange was grinning at them, her pretty eyes lit up with a happy gleam. 

Segundus jumped a little in surprise. “Oh! Mrs. Strange, Miss Wintertowne! I am ever so glad you could come. We were just discussing how very hard on the nerves weddings can be and that we are glad it is finished and that we are now married.” He put his arm through Childermass’ and Childermass felt inordinately happy about that small act. 

“Well, Emma and I wish you many years of happiness,” Mrs. Strange remarked. Emma did not say anything. Childermass suspected she was still sore at him for working for Norrell for so many years, and possibly feeling a little guilt over shooting him. But she gave him a weak smile, and that would have to suffice as congratulations. She kissed Segundus upon the cheek and the two women drifted off again into the crowd. 

Childermass and Segundus were separated yet again, as Hannah and Dido dragged Childermass away to chat with them, and Segundus was cornered by two of the Honeyfoot women who wished to congratulate him and probably ask him many questions about the school and his thoughts on married life. 

Childermass found himself getting a little tipsy as several glasses of beer and port were pressed into his hands. He also ate more than his fair share of tarts and sliced pork and roasted apples and several other things he could not identify, but which were rather delicious. By the time he rejoined Segundus and leaned companionably against the wall to watch the crowd, he was warm and well fed and a little soused. 

Segundus stepped up close to him, his cheeks flushed with what was probably much drink and food and conversation on his part as well, and said in a low voice. “I seem to be enjoying married life so far. How are you liking it Mr. Childermass?” He placed a hand on Childermass’ arm and looked deeply into Childermass’ eyes with a flirtatious glint to his gaze, and Childermass fought very hard not to lean in and kiss him. 

“I am enjoying it as well Mr. Segundus.” He replied. They had decided to keep their own names, being that if one of them changed his surname to the other, they would have truly identical names, and that would be far too confounding. Imagine, two John Childermasses or two John Segunduses running a school together. Everyone would be perpetually confused. 

“Ah! The couple is standing beneath the mistletoe!” This was said, quite loudly by Mr. Honeyfoot, and suddenly, thirty sets of eyes were upon them. 

Childermass looked up and cursed to himself. In his slightly inebriated state, he had forgotten to stay out of doorways. He and Segundus were standing in one such location, beneath a small sprig of mistletoe. 

“Now you must kiss!” This from Arabella. 

Childermass looked at Segundus, who had gone pale. He asked Segundus with his eyes if this would be alright, they had to keep up appearances after all, did they not? Segundus gave him a ghost of a nod, and then Childermass, brave from too much port, stepped up close to Segundus, took his face in his hands and kissed him. It was a gentle, swift kiss, not meant to be more than a show for the guests, and still Childermass felt a bolt of lightning go from the top of his head to the tips of his toes as Segundus’ soft lips met his own. 

He pulled back a little breathless, and looked down into Segundus’ eyes and the crowd cheered. He stepped away quickly, feeling his face heat up. Segundus, for his part, turned bright pink and fled to the food table, and Childermass could not blame him. 

Little did Childermass know that the humiliation had just begun. 

It was a custom in this part of Yorkshire to make many toasts to the new couple, and each time one was made, to their health, their prosperity, their success in business, the couple were expected to kiss. Many toasts were put forth, and when the guests saw how flustered the newlyweds were, they only increased the number of toasts, until Childermass had kissed Segundus a total of twelve times over the course of the evening. 

There were obvious downsides to this development, mainly the knowledge that Segundus had not truly wished for any of these kisses to be visited upon him. But also, it had the much needed side effect of getting them swiftly accustomed to being physically intimate with one another. After the fourth or fifth toast and resulting kiss, Childermass thought nothing at all of grabbing Segundus and kissing him. And to his surprise and delight, he was not the only one doing the grabbing. Segundus seemed to have gotten into the swing of things as well, and initiated as many kisses as Childermass. 

Soon, whenever Childermass saw another toast begin to be made, he got a warm, electric spark in his belly and a delightful tingle of anticipation. And then someone, (Lucas and Davey were guilty of perhaps five of the twelve toasts) would raise their glass and wish for any and all of the couple’s livestock to be fat and healthy, or wish for the school to have many more successful years of operation, and Segundus would lean in and press his lips to Childermass’. Or Childermass would lean in and press his lips to Segundus’. It was blissful. 

Partway through the evening, while they sat side by side and listened to Honeyfoot tell one of his boisterous stories, Childermass was surprised by Segundus taking his hand and interlacing their fingers together. He looked down at their joined hands and then up into Segundus’ eyes and saw his new husband smile. “Practice makes perfect,” Segundus whispered. And then he placed his head upon Childermass’ shoulder and sighed contentedly. 

He was clearly quite drunk. And so Childermass did not read too much into the action. He simply enjoyed the warmth and weight of Segundus’ sweet smelling head upon his shoulder and the feel of Segundus’ soft fingers laced with his own, and allowed himself to be happy. 

The evening wore on, and Childermass became sleepy. Segundus looked about ready to fall over from exhaustion and wine consumption, and so the next time a toast was made, by a very drunk gathering of people, Childermass spoke up. 

“Thank you all so much for the lovely wedding and this wonderful reception,” he said, smiling. “My husband and I are frightfully worn out however and wish to retire.” 

This was met with some hoots and whistles and a few very significant looks, but everyone wished the couple a good evening and Childermass and Segundus climbed the stairs to Segundus’ bedroom. 

Childermass had expected the wedding night to be painfully awkward, but, after he and Childermass had changed into their nightdresses (while modestly turned away from each other), and had climbed into bed, Childermass was simply too sleepy to feel awkward. 

He was even too tired to feel shocked when he felt Segundus move near to him and press up against his side. “I hope you do not mind sleeping so close to me,” the man mumbled drowsily. “For I am quite cold, and you are in fact now my husband, and so you really should not have any cause to complain.” Segundus then chuckled to himself at his little joke and promptly fell asleep. 

Childermass stayed awake for a few more moments, his head turned so that he could look at Segundus’ sleeping face on the pillow next to his own. My God but the man was lovely. His  long, dark lashes rested against his pale cheeks a nd his soft, well formed mouth was parted slightly while he slept. His dark hair, shot through with threads of silver, was mussed and tousled and a lock of it had fallen against his brow. Childermass dared to brush it away with the tip of his finger, and thankfully Segundus did not wake. 

“You’re lovely,” Childermass whispered to his slumbering husband. “You are lovely and I adore you.” 

Segundus’ nose crinkled a little in his sleep and he let out a faint snore. 

Childermass closed his eyes and got comfortable, reassured by the wonderful feel of Segundus’ warm body pressed against his side, feeling the man’s soft, faintly wine scented breath against his cheek, he soon drifted off to sleep as well. 


	7. Chapter 7

Segundus woke very slowly. This was perhaps because he was blissfully warm and very comfortable. He had been dreaming of picking flowers in Starecross garden, of looking up and seeing Childermass smiling down at him from an upstairs window. He woke before opening his eyes and reveled in the lovely warmth for a moment as the evening’s events slowly trickled back to him. He had been quite drunk, if memory served. And he was married now! And there had been many kisses, soft and sweet and far too short in duration over the course of the evening. And then, he and Childermass had gone to bed. 

_Childermass was in bed with him!_

It was then that he realized that he was curled on his side, and that there were a very warm and strong pair of arms around his middle, holding him tight. Furthermore, there was a very warm body curled around his body, and what felt like a stubbly face, pressed against the back of his neck. Childermass was wrapped around him like a shell upon a snail...like a wave curling over another wave. And a very obvious and very stiff portion of Childermass’ anatomy was pressed up against Segundus’ backside. And _furthermore_ Segundus realized belatedly that a member of his own anatomy was in a similar state. He was very warm and comfortable and very very aroused. 

He panicked silently. How was he to escape this situation? He could not have Childermass waking up and finding them pressed so tightly and warmly together and discovering the state of Segundus’ body! (not to mention the state of Childermass’!) But how was he to leave the bed without waking Childermass? He experimented with moving a bit, and Childermass responded by moaning softly and pulling him closer. This was accompanied by the smallest thrust of Childermass’ hips against Segundus’ rear. 

Segundus’ eyes rolled back and he fought to contain an indecent noise. He felt far too good, being wrapped up in Childermass’ embrace, every part of his body singing out with wanton desire and glowing with sleepy, delicious warmth. What would happen if he simply rolled over in Childermass’ arms and kissed the other man awake? He could do that now could he not? They were married now. 

But he dared not do it. Childermass, though his sleeping body was obviously also aroused, would not wish such a thing. Men’s bodies often reacted to stimulation, even when they did not desire such stimulation, and so a morning cock-stand was not to be taken as a sign of undying lust and devotion.

Segundus decided that rather than move away, he would simply lie there and pretend to sleep. Then, he could wait until Childermass woke up, and let _Childermass_ be the one to do as he wished with the current situation. It made the most sense. The household would not expect them to come down to breakfast until later in the day. They were supposed to be luxuriating their time away in bed, were they not? He would simply wait. 

Waiting however, turned out to be quite a fraught decision after all. For the longer he rested in Childermass’ embrace, and the longer he felt the stiffness of Childermass’ member against his buttocks, and the warmer and more comfortable and more sheltered and protected he felt in Childermass’ arms, the more aroused he became. 

It was torture. 

After perhaps a half an hour of imagining all sorts of things that Childermass’ hands and mouth and other parts could be doing to Segundus, Segundus was in such a state that he was breathing rather heavily. Childermass stirred again in his sleep, his hand closing reflexively to fist in the material of Segundus’ nightdress, his fingertips scraping gently at the skin of Segundus’ low belly through the cloth and Segundus bit his lip to hold back another indecent sound. 

Thankfully, that small movement was apparently a precursor to Childermass waking. Segundus felt the man’s mouth open and close against his neck, felt a warm kiss pressed into the flesh, just below his hairline, and barely suppressed a moan at the roughness and softness of Childermass’ face and lips against his skin. 

Then he felt Childermass freeze, and Segundus’ heart plummeted. Childermass stayed frozen for a few agonizing seconds, clearly realizing where he was and with whom, and then the arms that had been wrapped so warmly and possessively around Segundus’ middle withdrew. Segundus could feel Childermass hurriedly back away and sit up in bed behind him, and he cringed.

Rather than expose the man to embarrassment from the situation in which they found themselves, Segundus executed a very loud and obvious yawn and stretched his arms above his head in a dramatic fashion. He did so while lying on his side, for he dared not roll onto his back. This would surely expose the state of his own body, which despite the anxiety currently coursing through his veins, hadn’t yet received the message that he was _not_ about to be ravished by his new husband. 

He then rolled out of bed, and carefully keeping his front facing away from Childermass, stepped over to the wash basin and immediately splashed his face with ice cold water. 

“My!” he spluttered, not quite able to keep his voice at a normal level due to the cold wetness. “I slept very well! I hope that you did too Mr. Childermass.”

He heard a rustling of bedsheets behind him, and then Childermass’ deep, gruff voice, all the deeper and gruffer for him just having woken up, saying “John.”

“Yes?” Segundus asked, still not turning around, though luckily the cold water and the impropriety of the morning had finally worked to make his member go back to its original, flaccid state. 

“No, you may call me John, remember?” Childermass sounded glum, and Segundus hoped he had done nothing to upset the man. 

“Oh, yes, John, of course,” Segundus stayed with his back turned, splashing his face once more with the bitterly cold water to give Childermass a few more moments of privacy. “Did you sleep well John?” he rephrased his question, feeling an entirely inappropriate thrill at using their shared name. 

“I did,” Childermass replied. 

Segundus dared to turn around and saw that Childermass was sitting upon the edge of the bed. In his night dress with his hair down around his shoulders, he looked more innocent and younger than Segundus had ever seen him before. Segundus felt his breath hitch just a tiny bit. 

“We should make our way down to breakfast,” he said. “I am not looking forward to what the household has to say about last night, and I prefer to get it over and done with as soon as we can.” He smiled a little one sided smile, and Segundus breathed a silent sigh of relief. He had thought when Childermass first spoke that he was angry. He had sounded very put out, but now, he seemed a little back to his old, cynical self. 

“I find that I am ravenously hungry, and so that would be rather nice,” Segundus remarked. 

The two dressed, again, facing away from each other to afford the other privacy, and headed downstairs. 

It was late in the day, perhaps half past nine in the morning, and so breakfast had already been had by Vinculus and Mrs. Lennox and several of the guests who had not gone home the night before. Emma and Arabella were sitting at the table, having tea and chatting. 

“Good morning sirs!” Arabella said cheerily as they made their way to the table. “I trust your evening went well.” Luckily, she did not give them any sly looks, nor did she sound as if she implied anything other than asking how their evening had gone. 

“It did,” Segundus replied. “I drank far too much wine and fell asleep immediately!”

It was not until he felt three pairs of eyes upon him that he realized he had misspoken. He had just told Emma and Arabella that he and Childermass had not consummated their marriage! This would not sound very marital of them, nor would it give off the impression that they had enjoyed themselves very much. 

Childermass, thankfully sensing that some action needed to be done, wrapped his arms around Segundus’ waist and pulled him close. “You didn’t fall asleep _that_ quickly now did you, my little pidgeon?” he asked, then kissed Segundus’ cheek and nuzzled the side of his face with his nose. 

“Oh, dear me. No!” Segundus exclaimed, feeling himself go hot from Childermass’ sudden nearness and affection. “Not _that_ quickly. Not before I’d had a right proper seeing to!” he blurted out. He saw Emma and Arabella both cover their smiles with their hands and turn pink, but embarrassment over saying too much was far preferable to risking them thinking that the marriage was a scam. He turned his head and caught Childermass’ lips in a kiss. The other man made a soft noise of surprise, but kissed him back before letting him go. 

“Is that so?” This from Emma, who had not stopped smiling.

“Ah see! The lovebirds can’t keep their hands off of each other!” Exclaimed Mrs. Lennox, who had just walked into the kitchen. “What would you gentlemen like for your post wedding breakfast? We have ever so much food left over from last night.”

After that, all manner of food was brought out to the couple and they had quite a breakfast feast, and spent some time, sitting and talking with the ladies, and drinking their tea and coffee. 

“I think we shall need to spend some time today in planning lessons,” Segundus remarked. “I have been far too lazy of late. I know it is the Christmas holiday, but the students will be back before we know it, and Honeyfoot and myself will have our hands full with what to teach them.”

“I’ll help you,” Childermass offered, and the two made their way to the library, where several blissful hours were spent combing through books and constructing lesson plans from what they both remembered of the magic they already knew. Childermass had himself become an important magical resource, having spent so much time in Norrell’s employ. He had been allowed to read several of Norrell’s books, and had been allowed to practice many simple spells while he lived under the magician’s roof. This was more magical information than anyone now alive in England possessed. Yes, magic had returned to the country, and many people now used it here and there, in a wild, untutored and unaware sort of way, but actual magical knowledge? Much of that had disappeared with Strange and Norrell. Childermass had been close to one of the only two practical magicians of the last three hundred years. 

Segundus had always been intrigued, and maybe more than a little envious of the magic that Childermass could do, but today, Childermass showed him how to do several different spells, including Belasis Scopus. Segundus often had a mild headache from the execution of magic, (especially fairy magic) but for some reason, today, while Childermass patiently instructed him on the words and hand motions of each spell, he barely noticed it at all. 

At one point, when Segundus could not quite get the hand motions down correctly, Childermass reached over and changed the position of Segundus’ hands and fingers with his own. He delicately pulled Segundus wrist a little to the side and adjusted his pointer finger and ring finger with warm touches, and Segundus swallowed thickly and remembered when they had lain together that morning and grew very hot down his chest and across his face. 

After they had talked and studied and practiced for several hours, Segundus noticed that the windows of the library were growing dark, that their candles were giving off more light by comparison, and that he was again hungry. “It must be getting late,” he remarked. “Shall we go to supper?”

Childermass nodded, and together they went to the dining hall, where several of the guests (deciding to spend a few days as the weather was rumored to turn foul,), were already eating. 

Christmas Eve was tomorrow, and while some of the guests needed to embark tomorrow morning in order to spend the remainder of the Christmas festivities with their families, Emma and Arabella and the Greysteels had decided to stay. Mr. Greysteel, his sister and daughter were delightful people and spent much of dinner regaling them with tales of their travels. Arabella and Flora (Miss Greysteel) were fast friends at this point, and the three women, Arabella, Flora and Emma spent quite a long time, heads bent together in discussion of many topics as the evening wore on. 

Toward the end of the meal, Mr. Honeyfoot approached Segundus and Childermass, where they were eating while still deep in discussion of the subject of magic. “Mr. Childermass sir,” he said, “I hate to interrupt you, but a matter of some importance has arisen. An elderly gentleman over near Tollerton has written to inform me that he is in possession of a copy of one of Martin Pale’s books, though he did not tell me which one, and he is leaving the day after Christmas to go to France on business. He will not be back for several months, and I fear he will take the book with him and sell it abroad if he leaves. He has offered to sell it to us instead, to use in the education of ourselves and the students. It is too good an opportunity to pass up. I was wondering if yourself, and perhaps Lucas might be able to go and fetch it early tomorrow morning?”

Childermass looked surprised and intrigued. “Certainly! All of Pale’s works and any copies I was aware of disappeared with Norrell and Strange. This will be quite the boon!” He said.

Segundus frowned. “But Mr. Childermass...darling,” he added after just a moment’s hesitation. “It is rumored to snow on Christmas Eve, and it might be quite deep. Is this book worth the danger of such a journey? On such short notice?”

Childermass placed his hand over Segundus’ in a reassuring fashion. “Do not fret Pidgeon,” he said. I have ridden in worse, and it is very much worth the small amount of risk.”

Segundus nodded, mollified by the warmth of Childermass’ hand upon his own, and a reoccurrence of his rather sweet new pet name. 

After dinner, when they had once again retired to their shared bedroom, Segundus could not help feeling a twist of apprehension as he contemplated Childermass’ trip upon the morrow. 

“I wish you did not have to go,” he said, trying to sound less invested, less worried than he actually was and failing miserably. 

“I know,” said Childermass, “but one of Martin Pale’s books is a rare find. Norrell gobbled up all the copies ever sold, or at least he thought he did. But apparently, he missed one. If we let it slip through our fingers, we shall regret it.”

They were in their night dresses and lying in bed under the covers, on their sides, facing each other. No discussion had been had about whether or not Childermass would continue to sleep in Segundus’ bed. It had just happened. Childermass had simply followed him upstairs as if it were the most normal thing in all the world for them to share a bed. This made Segundus very happy. But his happiness was still tempered greatly by worry. The night outside his bedroom window was a black square, but he could almost picture large, fluffy flakes beginning to fall from the sky. 

“I understand,” Segundus said, and something in his voice must have touched Childermass, for the other man reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair gently behind Segundus’ ear and gave him a soft smile. Segundus shivered a little in response. He wished he could say what he wanted to, that he did not think a book of magic was worth a treacherous trip in the snow to obtain. That he loved Childermass to distraction and wanted him to stay home, safe and sound. But he could not say any of that, and so he chewed upon his lip and kept silent. 

Shortly after that, they fell asleep, not touching as they had on their wedding night, but lying apart from each other.


	8. Chapter 8

That night, Childermass was having a very pleasant dream. In it, Segundus, soft and sweet, was in his arms and kissing him. They were somewhere warm, under green trees, lying in tall grasses that effectively shielded them from prying eyes, and Childermass was kissing Segundus’ mouth slowly and sweetly. The scent of flowers drifted in the air and the sun was a golden, honey color as it shone down upon him and his husband where they lay together. 

He was woken by some sudden noise or movement to a pitch black room. He slowly realized that he was in Segundus’ bed, in Starecross Hall, and that they were married, only they were not allowed to kiss, even in their wedding bed. Only in front of others, in order to keep up their facade of wedded bliss. 

Next to him, Segundus lay, curled upon his side, apparently asleep. He had thrown off his covers in the night, perhaps due to some bad dream and Childermass was afraid he would be too cold. He moved closer and wrapped the blankets around Segundus, and then, when Segundus sighed and made a relieved sound, and wriggled a little closer, Childermass wrapped his arms around the man. He curled his body around Segundus to warm him with his heat. 

He was still groggy from waking so suddenly and from such a sweet dream, and so when Segundus turned in his arms and kissed him, softly upon the mouth, he thought perhaps he might still be lost in a dream. But no, Segundus’ body, his lips and arms felt very real indeed. Childermass kissed back, tentatively at first, but then with more ardor as it became apparent that Segundus was also awake now, and that he was moving closer, turning and pressing against Childermass. 

The darkness of the bedroom provided a magic sort of permission it seemed, an intimacy and an anonymity that allowed him to put his worries aside and pull Segundus into his arms. Not much could be seen from the thin moonlight coming through the window, and so Childermass had to rely upon touch and smell and taste as he gently cupped Segundus’ cheek in his hand and kept kissing him while keeping him close with an arm around his waist. He moved his free hand from Segundus’ face, and drove his fingers into Segundus’ soft hair, using the arm around the man’s now warm waist to pull him closer still. Segundus made another soft noise, one that sounded needful and a little urgent, and his press of lips against Childermass’ became firmer.

Childermass did not know why he was being honored with such heart rending, soft kisses in the middle of the night, but he did not speak, did not question it. He let himself simply feel the warmth of Segundus’ chest and belly and legs where they pressed into him, to catalogue every soft, insistent move of the man’s lips against his own. 

He knew that Segundus did not have very much experiences with these sorts of things and so he did not press his advantage. He did not move his hands where they longed to go, nor turn the kiss from a sweet, repeated press of lips upon lips to something deeper. He let Segundus do as he wished, which at this point seemed to be to press himself against Childermass and cling to him and kiss his mouth gently and repeatedly. 

Eventually, a change happened. Segundus’ movements against him grew more insistent, and his kisses became slower and hungrier and then Childermass did dare to slip his tongue between Segundus’ lips, just a little to test the man’s reaction. Segundus responded immediately, opening his mouth to accept Childermass’ questing tongue and then, like a sudden shift in the direction of the wind upon the moors, the mood changed. All was heat and urgency. Segundus’ hands were moving down the length of Childermass’ back, pulling him closer by the hips. He was pressing himself rhythmically against Childermass and making soft little noises that had Childermass groaning back in response. 

Childermass finally let his hands slide down the length of Segundus’ body and dared to cup his small, cold buttock and pull him closer, and Segundus let out a sobbing noise and slung a leg over Childermass’ hip. The kiss had at this point become a sloppy, uncoordinated slide of lips and tongue and Childermass’s head was spinning with desire. He did not know what spell had been cast to make his new husband come to him this way, move against him and kiss him like this, but he was eternally grateful. And he was still stuck between wanting Segundus so badly that he struggled to breath from it, and in not wanting to hurt him, to push him. And so he still kept his distance just a little. Followed Segundus’ lead for the most part, only taking steps further once Segundus had enthusiastically responded to the last movement or placement of his hand. 

They were laying upon their sides, and Segundus was rocking against him, clumsily, urgently, clearly enjoying the friction, and so Childermass gave an experimental roll of his hips, pulling Segundus against him more firmly by the hand upon his buttock, and was rewarded with another rough, sobbing noise. And then they were moving together in earnest. Childermass stroked his hand up and down the length of Segundus’ still nightdress-clad back, grasping his arse at the bottom of every stroke as they rocked together. He could feel Segundus’ cock through the material that separated them jutting into his groin, stiff and hot, and his own erection was pressed against Segundus’ hip. 

He knew that if this continued, he would be pushed past the point of no return, but he wanted Segundus to reach his pleasure first, and so he stilled his movements somewhat, while urging Segundus on with hands at the man’s hip and arse. “That’s it,” He whispered into Segundus’ open mouth. “That’s it love.”

It wasn’t long before Segundus stiffened and gasped, his hips jerking against Childermass as he sobbed out his climax into the front of Childermass’ neck. Childermass held him close and stroked his back and waited, awed and aroused beyond measure as his husband shuddered his way through his peak. 

When Segundus’ movements slowed and he went from rough cries to gasps to deep breaths, Childermass lifted his face and kissed his lips and cheeks and brow. He felt almost moved to tears at the vulnerability and the erotic rush he received from Segundus coming apart against him. He wanted so very badly to spill out his heart, to confess his feelings, but he kept silent. 

It was not until he felt Segundus’ tentative yet insistent hand, pressing against his own stiff cock that he realized that Segundus wished to help him reach climax as well. He lay upon his back, pulling Segundus in close against his side and let the other man explore Childermass’ aching prick with his gentle fingers. Childermass could not help but moan and thrust up into the tentative, delicate movements of Segundus’ hand as he trailed his fingertips up and down Childermass’ length and gripped him gently. 

Hoping Segundus would understand and agree, Childermass pulled up his own nightdress so that he might feel Segundus’ touch against his bare skin. His husband obligingly continued his exploration of Childermass’ member, letting out a soft moan as his fingers touched Childermass there for the first time without cloth between them.

Childermass gently took himself in hand. He did not brush Segundus’ hand out of the way, merely slipped his fingers beneath Segundus’ to grip himself, and began stroking. He turned his head and kissed Segundus as he did so and Segundus kissed him back eagerly. Segundus placed his hand over Childermass’ and played at Childermass tip and his bollocks as Childermass stroked, and soon, he felt himself nearing his pleasure. He moaned against Segundus’ mouth as he peaked and spilled onto his belly and over their combined hands upon his cock. 

Afterward, he used a bedsheet to clean them both off with and tossed it onto the floor, and Segundus rested warmly in his arms, cold nose buried in his neck. Aside from Childermass’ soft words of encouragement, they had still not spoken, and Childermass did not wish to break the spell that had been cast by the dark bedroom, and the thin stream of moonlight that was currently illuminating the sharp angle of Segundus’ hip under the blanket. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep in his husband’s arms, feeling full of peace and contentment in the afterglow of their lovemaking. 

When he woke, a few hours later, it was to the gray of early dawn. He carefully disentangled himself from Segundus’ arms and legs and crawled reluctantly from the warmth of the bed to quickly dress himself for his journey. Segundus slept like the dead, which was amenable to Childermass. He wished for the events of earlier that morning to remain fresh in his mind and not to have to bring words into it yet. 

He gathered his things and snuck out of the door while Segundus still lay deep in sleep. 


	9. Chapter 9

Segundus woke slowly. He had been very warm and comfortable, and then the warmth had lessened by degrees, until he was now quite chilly. He rolled over, smiling, with his eyes still closed and reached out for Childermass, only to find the bed empty. Then he did wake truly, with a frown. Looking around the bedroom, he saw that Childermass was gone, and then he remembered that today was Christmas Eve, and that Childermass and Lucas would be riding to Tollerton to fetch the book of magic they had arranged to purchase. 

He sank back under the covers for a few moments, striving to hold onto his own meager heat the best he could, and memories of what had transpired the night before came flooding back to him. The smell of Childermass, his skin, his hair, the taste of his mouth, it all came back, and he smiled like a fool with his head under the covers. When he’d woken in the night, with Childermass again wrapped around him, warm and protective, he’d decided that he could no longer lie there and pretend that such closeness was not affecting him. He had boldly kissed Childermass and had been delighted when his new husband had kissed him back.

What followed had been incredible and thrilling. Feeling Childermass’ arms around him, his hand upon Segundus’ body, his lips against Segundus’ lips. 

Segundus brought his hand to his face and inhaled the faint but lingering smell of Childermass spend that still clung to his fingers and smiled again. His nightdress was ruined, but that only made him happier at remembering why this was so. 

Eventually, after Charles had come in and obligingly built up the fire and brought him some tea, he got out of bed and started his day, washing and then dressing in his warmest clothes. A look out of his bedroom window revealed that it had already begun snowing and the ground was covered in a thin layer of white. He felt a stab of apprehension that Childermass and Lucas would be traveling in the snow, but told himself he was worrying for no good reason. Childermass had spent much time in his life traveling in all sorts of bad weather. He and Lucas would be fine. 

He spent the majority of the day in the library. Partly because from that location, he could hear if someone entered Starecross Hall, as the library was near enough to the front entrance. He tried to absorb himself in a book, but thoughts of Childermass, the feel of his skin, the softness of his lips, the unbelievable pleasure of coming apart in his arms, well, Segundus found it highly distracting. 

After an hour of trying to read, he gave up and went in search of some tea. As he passed by a window in the front hall, he saw that the snow had gotten thicker, and was falling faster. He felt a cold twist of worry in his gut and pushed it down, reminding himself again that Childermass had said all would go well. 

After he’d had a warming cup of tea and some toast and jam in the kitchen, he felt a little better, and went back to the library. He found Mr. Honeyfoot there. His wife and daughters and their families had gone home, but he had elected to stay to get a head start on the lesson plans for the new year. The two of them got to talking and engaged in a delightful conversation for some time. 

“Did not yourself and Mr. Childermass come up with a spell to detect books of magic?” Honeyfoot asked eventually.

“Oh yes! That we did. Unfortunately, it required the person doing the spell to know in which specific direction the book might be found, and so it was quite difficult to test. We could only test it by hiding Childermass’ copy of  _ A Child’s History of the Raven King _ out upon the moors, wrapped in a blanket. But yes, the spell found the book unerringly.”

“Shall we not practice the spell together to find the book that Mr. Childermass and Mr. Lucas have gone to purchase?” Mr. Honeyfoot asked.

“Oh Honeyfoot! What a lovely idea! We now have the perfect test subject upon which to perform our experiment. We know that Childermass went in the direction of Tollerton to fetch it!” He clapped Honeyfoot upon the shoulder and the two grinned at each other. Honeyfoot and he set up the materials of the spell and said the words together and looked into the silver basin of water they had filled for the purpose. A glowing point of light was supposed to appear upon a rough sort of map and show them the location of the book.

No light appeared. 

They did the spell again. And a third time just to be certain, but the water stayed dim and dark and very ordinary. 

Segundus bit his lip in worry and looked out the window at the deepening snow. “But does this mean that there was no book in Tollerton?” he asked, unable to help the tremor in his voice. “Or does it mean that the spell does not work?”

Honeyfoot placed a hand upon his shoulder to steady him. “I think my dear Segundus, it means that there is no book. But perhaps I am not saying the words correctly? Or we did some of the hand motions in the wrong sequence?”

“No, no, we did it perfectly,” Segundus turned away from the window, and his face must have looked a fright, because Honeyfoot’s expression became one of concern.

“Do not fret Mr. Segundus. Your husband is a sure footed man with a good horse and with the company of young Lucas. He has traveled all over the north of England. He is well prepared for anything that comes his way. He will be back home soon, and safely.” 

Segundus nodded at Honeyfoot’s kind words, but they did not ease his worry. Eventually, it began to grow dark, and Segundus began to worry in earnest. He told Honeyfoot that he wanted to mount up and go out to find Childermass and Lucas and was strongly told not to go. “We cannot risk having two magicians lost in the snow. The worst thing that might happen is that they were forced to spend the night somewhere and will return tomorrow morning. Mark my words.” 

Still, Segundus was pulled apart by worry. He sat at the front windows and looked out at the snow and did not feel like eating dinner, even when Honeyfoot had the maid bring him a plate. Soon, it grew too dark to see anything out of the windows, but Davey and Charles went out and lit lanterns that hung about the front door so that Childermass and Lucas would have a beacon to lead them home through the driving snow. 

The company were all in the drawing room, reading, chatting, playing merry tunes on the small piano Mrs. Lennox had had installed some months ago. Segundus joined them, but their cheerfulness could not lighten his mood. And eventually, his worry became contagious and the other guests began to look to the door at the smallest noise, clearly hoping that it would open to reveal Childermass and Lucas.

Segundus went to bed, but he could not sleep for a long time. The bed felt so very empty without Childermass next to him, even though they had only spent two nights together in it so far. He worried and listened for the sound of the front doors opening, and worried some more and listened some more, until he must have worn himself out with it, for he fell asleep sometime around midnight. 

He woke and quickly jumped out of bed on Christmas morning. He washed quickly and dressed and went downstairs. Childermass and Lucas had still not returned. The house would normally have been joyful and celebratory, what with it being Christmas morning, but now everyone waited for their dark, brooding former man of business and their Lucas to return. 

About midday, Charles called out “I see them!” and Segundus ran to the windows. He saw two figures just entering the courtyard upon horses. Both looked quite bedraggled and snow logged. Without stopping to even put on his coat he ran to the door and out. 

“Childermass!” he called as he struggled through calf-deep snow toward the horses. It was Childermass indeed. Looking a bit haggard and worse for wear but alive and apparently unharmed. Lucas rode behind him, also looking rather wet and miserable. The two stopped and dismounted, and before Segundus could think better of it, he had launched himself into Childermass’ arms. Childermass returned his embrace fiercely, and for a moment, all they could do was hold each other. 

“There now Pigeon,” Childermass murmured into Segundus' ear. “There now, it’s alright.”

“It is not alright!” Segundus yelped, mortified that he appeared to be crying. “I thought you were… I thought something had..”

“There now,” Childermass repeated, pushing Segundus away from him gently so he could look into his eyes. “I am well. Lucas has a bad ankle but we are alive and well. I am also very wet and very cold and you have no coat. Come inside.” 

Segundus nodded and allowed himself to be led inside. He should be the one taking care of Childermass, and yet here he was, tucked under Childermass’ arm, trying to suppress sobs of relief as he was ushered inside Starecross Hall.

The two men were led immediately to the kitchen, where both men shed their cold and sodden coats and hats. Fortunately, their clothes under their coats were only a little damp. Lucas, who limped along adequately, but clumsily, was pressed into a chair and a hot compress was brought for his twisted ankle. Mrs. Lennox thankfully upstaged Segundus’ tears by making a very big fuss over the state of the two wayward travelers. 

“You must sit in the drawing room and we will build up the fire! Oh and you must have some warm food! And tomorrow, when the road clears, we will send for the doctor to come see about Lucas’ ankle!”

Childermass’ hair, messy and snow-wet and barely held in place by a leather thong, was swept over his shoulder, and so when he moved it, Segundus could see a small patch of blood upon his husband’s upper arm, seeping through his jacket. “You’re bleeding!” he exclaimed, and reached out to investigate with trembling fingers, his stomach twisting in fear. 

“It is alright love, it’s just a scratch,” Childermass captured both of Segundus’ hands in his own before he could forcefully undress Childermass in the kitchen, in front of the other guests, and brought them to his lips and kissed them both across the knuckles. This pacified Segundus momentarily, but he would not be happy until this ‘scratch’ was seen to. 

“Charles,” he said, pulling his eyes away from Childermass’ with some difficulty, as Childermass was looking at him with such warmth and fondness. “Please fetch some clean cloth for bandages and some herbs from the cabinet and bring them to my room so that I may bandage Mr. Childermass’ wound. And please fetch some woolen blankets from the hall closet so that he and Lucas might warm themselves by the fire in the drawing room.”

“You needn’t fuss,” Childermass said. 

“John dear, do hush up,” Segundus couldn’t help but snap a bit. His relief was mixing with irritation that Childermass seemed so resistant to care. “Please stop telling me what to do and let me care for you, you great, stubborn lummox,” he chided, and Childermass smiled. 

The whole party moved to the drawing room where Charles had built up a roaring fire, and many blankets were piled upon Lucas and Childermass. They were joined by Honeyfoot, who clapped Childermass upon his wounded shoulder without realizing it. Childermass winced in pain and Segundus winced in sympathy. 

Everyone was very anxious to hear what had happened, and so Childermass relayed the tale. About how this supposed ‘gentleman’ in Tollerton had been nothing more than a crooked dealer of useless junk and a seller of snake oil remedies. He had heard tell of how magic had returned to England and about how real, true, practical magicians would pay a great deal for new books upon magic. He had done his research and had written to Starecross to tell them that he possessed a rare book, but had instead, hired a pair of thugs to rob Childermass and Lucaus upon their arrival. 

Childermass however had gotten the jump on them. His years spent living upon the streets had allowed him to sense that something foul was afoot. A few well placed blows with his fists and a hastily done spell or two and the thugs had run off with bloodied noses and fearful eyes. One of them had managed to nick Childermass on the upper arm with a knife, but the cut was shallow and would likely not even leave much of a scar. 

The real trouble had come from the snow, which had fallen thick and deep, deeper than they’d imagined it would, necessitating that they spend the night by the side of the road, as a journey home in the dark was too perilous. 

Lucas’ ankle had been knocked against a tree trunk when his horse was spooked by a pack of wild turkeys exploding out of a bush on the way back, and had not had anything at all to do with the brigands or the snow. 

Segundus bemoaned that fact that he had not suggested that they try out their new spell to attempt to find the promised and false book before Childermass had departed, but Childermass laid a reassuring hand upon his arm and told him that they were all too excited by the prospect and had too little time to do so, and it was not his fault. 

Once the bandages had been fetched, Segundus insisted that he and Childermass retire to their room so that Segundus could fuss over him properly and in private. The moment he had his bedroom door closed and locked behind them, Segundus wrapped his arms around Childermass’ neck and kissed him quite soundly. 

Childermass let out a grunt of surprise, but he swiftly wrapped his arms around Segundus’ waist and kissed him back w ith ardor . After a few moments spent lost in the pleasure of Childermass’ lips against his own, Segundus felt himself pulled away and Childermass was looking into his eyes with that same, fond, warm look from earlier. “You needn’t have worried,” he said softly. “I would have found my way home.” 

Segundus felt a flair of irrational anger. “No! I very well  _ should  _ have worried!” he said. “You and Lucas were in real trouble! Set upon by brigands! Stranded by the side of the road. And poor Lucas’ ankle. I think my worries were quite well founded.” He realized that he was gripping Childermass by the face and that his eyes had filled with tears once more. He hastily let the man go and stepped away. “We must tend to your wound,” he said, fighting to control his emotions. He was acting the role of a worried husband far too convincingly at the moment.

Childermass huffed out a sigh. “It is but a scratch, not a ‘wound.’ He said, but he obligingly let himself be stripped of waistcoat and shirt and allowed Segundus to clean his cut and bandage it with a simple poultice of healing herbs. Afterward, he sat upon the bed, still shirtless, dressed in his breeches and shoes, his long hair cascading partway down his bare back. Segundus thought he might suffocate from how much he loved the man sitting before him, so he turned away and set about putting the bandages away and in stoking up the fire to warm the room. 

When he turned back around, Childermass was standing there, a strange look upon his face. “John,” he said, and his voice had become serious once more. “There is something I need to tell you.” 

Segundus felt his stomach drop with sudden dread. Was this the moment when Childermass told him that he did not love Segundus? That he felt desire and a fond sort of affection (both being very clear to see) but that a deeper, marital love was not a thing he could provide? The way Segundus had flung himself at Childermass the other evening, surely he had made his own feelings clear, and now Childermass needed to set the matter straight. “Please don’t,” he said, unable to look Childermass in the eyes. “Please don’t tell me. Let us just keep pretending. Just for today. It is Christmas after all,” he looked down at his feet, feeling tears prickling hotly again at his eyes. 

Childermass stepped closer and grasped him by the shoulders. “John, please look at me,” he said, oh so softly. He was being kind. Being gentle in his rejection. Segundus’ tears welled up and spilled over, but he looked into Childermass’ soft, fond eyes. “John, I cannot pretend any longer,” Childermass said. “I love you too much to keep up this facade. If you do not return my feelings, I will be able to continue in our marriage, but I will not be able to bear sleeping beside you, for it would hurt too much.”

Segundus could not quite believe his ears. “You...love me?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Childermass said simply. “Very much indeed.”

“Oh John,” Segundus breathed, lost in Childermass’ dark eyes. “Oh, I, I love you too! I thought that you were simply pretending to be fond of me.”

“No Pigeon,” Childermass said, his voice thick with emotion. “I was pretending  _ not _ to. It was very difficult. I would like to stop pretending now. Can we do that?” he asked, pain welling up behind his words. “Can we stop pretending and love one another properly?”

“Oh John, yes, of course!” Segundus exclaimed before throwing himself into Childermass arms and kissing him. “I love you so very much,” he murmured between kisses to Childermass’ lips and cheeks and nose. “I have for so long.” 

Childermass smiled and kissed Segundus back. They held each other and kissed and kissed for what felt like a long time. Segundus could have quite easily taken Childermass to bed then and there, but he remembered that it was Christmas day. 

“John,” he managed to pull back a moment, breathless. “John, it is Christmas. I suppose the household would notice if we spent the rest of the day in bed.”

“Let them notice,” Childermass replied and kissed him again, with heated purpose, as his hands began to work at the buttons of Segundus’ waistcoat. “I care not. I wish to show you quite explicitly how much I love you. Tell me if this is not what you wish for, and we can go downstairs and have some cider and sing hymns to your heart's content.” 

Segundus smiled against Childermass’ lips. “I do not feel in the mood for hymns at the moment,” he said, and helped Childermass to undress him. 

Soon they were naked and wrapped up together under the covers. Segundus wanted to kiss and taste and touch every part of Childermass, and so he did, kissing his neck and the furred top of his chest, and the surprisingly delicate ridge of his ear. He kissed Childermass’ closed eyelids and the tip of his nose and sucked a little bit at his collarbone because that part of Childermass smelled particularly nice. Childermass shivered beneath his lips and moaned, and it was the most lovely sound. 

Childermass pressed Segundus down into the mattress and took him into his mouth, and oh dear! The sensation was beyond description. It did not take Segundus very long at all to reach his pleasure, hands grasping at Childermass’ hair, back arching up from the bed. Once he had come back to earth, he cautiously asked if he could return the favor. Childermass readily agreed, and gave Segundus very plain instructions, until he could not speak any longer, and then Segundus was very happy to pull such helpless, rough noises from his husband with his mouth and hand. 

They lay together afterward and Childermass ran his fingers through Segundus’ hair, making his scalp tingle. Segundus stroked his hand idly down the length of Childermass’ warm, naked body and sighed happily. “I think I will very much enjoy my marital duties where the bedroom is concerned,” he said, smiling into the dark hair that dusted Childermass’ chest. 

“You will have to try very hard to enjoy them more than I will,” replied Childermass in a sleepy fashion. “We may indulge again if you give me but a short time to rest.” 

Segundus wrapped his arms around Childermass and kissed his neck. “I think I should like that very much, but perhaps we should go downstairs and spend some time with our guests. They will fear that you expired from the grave wound inflicted upon you during your recent adventures.”

“Oh, I think they have some idea that I am alive and well,” Childermass said with a laugh bubbling beneath his words. “You certainly made your pleasure quite well known a few moments ago.”

Segundus turned hot with embarrassment and hid his face against Childermass’ chest. “Oh dear,” he mumbled. “I had not realized that I’d been so loud.”

“I loved it,” Childermass replied, squeezing him tightly. “I love  _ you _ ,” he added, kissing Segundus’ brow. 

“And I you, my darling John,” Segundus lifted his head to deliver a quick kiss to Childermass’ lips before setting back into his arms. “I am very glad that I asked you to marry me. Even if it all started as a convenience.”

“I am very glad you did so too Pigeon,” Childermass said. “Happy Christmas, my husband.”

“Happy Christmas,” Segundus replied, and held Childermass close. 

Outside, the wind whistled through the pine branches, and downstairs, little bunches of mistletoe waited patiently for lovers to kiss underneath them while the guests at Starecross Hall made merry and prepared to sing and laugh and talk long into the night. 


End file.
